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Posted April 18, 2009 | 9 comments

Sports

The Top Seven Types of Car Guys

For gearheads, the car you drive says more about you than the clothes you wear or the company you keep. More than simply a status symbol, that car is extension of your personality and sense of style. As such, different personalities tend to gravitate toward certain cars that can sum up their whole situation in one quick glance.

Source: Ghislain & Marie David de Lossy/Getty Images

7. Corvette Guy

The Corvette Guy

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There's no mistaking it - Corvettes are fast as hell. Straight off the showroom floor, a new ZR1 (or Z06, for that matter) will wipe the floor with just about anything else on the road, and usually for quite a bit less coin than comparable cars. To compliment that performance, Chevy has always included a healthy dose of "Please look at me!" styling. And that's probably the most significant ingredient in the Corvette because as awesome as 'Vettes are, they will be forever associated with middle aged men with middle class bank accounts, desperately trying to buy back their youth, and some attention to boot. C'est la vie, Corvette Guy.

6. Hot Rod Guy

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Source: Brian Finke/Getty Images

There are actually two different types of hot rod guys. There's the Greaser contingent, the younger group who have an affinity for Social Distortion and '50s Americana culture who operate on a shoe-string budget and buy cool looking old beaters and get them back on the road, even occasionally make them fast. It's hard to knock these guys for much, mainly because most of them are usually pretty cool people whose hearts are in the right place.

Then there's the Street Rodders. While the majority of these guys just want to make old cars really plush and somewhat quick, there is a loud contingent of street rod enthusiasts which are older dudes trying to relive the good ol' days by pouring thousands upon thousands of dollars into '40s and '50s coupes and turning them into pastel-colored, '80s decal-covered abominations. I don't even know what the purpose of this is really, as most of these guys don't really even drive their cars, they just wax them in their garages and take them on trailers to car shows. I mean if you're going to take a badass car and make it look like that, as least have the balls to drive it around so we can mock you.

5.  EVO/WRX Guy

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Source: Bryan Mitchell/Stringer/Getty Images

Not to be confused with the dreaded Ricer crowd, the main desire of both Subaru WRX and Mitsubishi EVO drivers is to get the world to see them differently than the subwoofer-blasting, neon light-rocking notorious aspects of the import crowd. They strive for respect. And people who know what's up usually give credit where credit is due, while the naive just get smoked.  Since both cars are four-door sedans instead of the two-door coupe layout which most people would associate with performance, they have a stealthy, sleeper aesthetic, which many see as a choice to focus more on "go" instead of "show."

So EVO/WRX guys, we know your cars don't suck. Really, we swear - you don't need to troll the comments every YouTube street racing video to preach the gospel of AWD and turbos. We already know.

4. Muscle Car Guy

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Source: Motor Trend

The Muscle Car Guy's style might be the hardest to pin down, largely because they are perhaps the most widely varied bunch when it comes to style. But a common thread binds all of them together: a desire for big cars, loud V8s, cheap gas, and straight roads. Cornering often takes a back seat to the ability to lay down an awesome burnout. 

The Muscle Car guys' turf is not the S curves of the Laguna Seca Raceway but the endless stretches of highway across the New Mexico desert. People don't love the Bullit chase for the lateral Gs that the Mustang GT and Charger R/T are producing in the turns; they love it for the roar of a big block 390 as in vanishes in a haze of tire smoke. Good thing, too, because the understeer in those cars is a bitch.

Comments (9)
  • nmathes's Profile
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    1. nmathes Posted on May 13 '09 at 3:10 PM

    It would be a sin to not change my own brake pads, rotors, and oil in my Z3 coupe and E36 M3? Replace belts, expansion tanks, upgraded spindles.... I know my car, thats why I pass you on the track even though you have more power than me. BTW, a Beemer is a motorcycle.

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  • gendronrules's Profile
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    2. gendronrules Posted on Apr 27 '09 at 11:16 AM

    ha ha grid92 you beat me to it, a WRX will beat that paper weight time and time again. My only beef wit this article was that there is a diference in my opinion between ricers and tuners Ricers have All show and no go often on older crappy cars, where as tuners have nicely done cars that go fast and also have some show. I am surprised they didnt have a section for the confused eurotrash.

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  • grid92's Profile
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    3. grid92 Posted on Apr 23 '09 at 6:22 PM

    Why a BMW or Subaru? Why a Chrysler product? The company is going bankrupt for a reason. Mainly because they make crappy cars but have a good marketing scheme. Not one Chrysler product made the Consumer Reports most reliable list (they made a fine showing in the least reliable list, though). Oh, and that being "cool" thing, you'll probably grow out of that. By the way, did I read right that the SRT8 base price is $38k + gas guzzler tax? Wow. I also noticed that my '06 WRX will beat your car 0-60, 1/4 mile, 600 ft slalom, and 60-0. It cost $28k new, and I get 28mph on the hwy. We won't go into resale value. I'm just saying...
    And true to form, here I am defending WRX's again... I guess this article isn't too far from the truth. :)

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  • Einherrjar's Profile
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    4. Einherrjar Posted on Apr 22 '09 at 12:07 AM

    Being the proud owner of an '09 Dodge Challenger SRT8, I pose the question: why in the heck someone would spend their money on something like a BMW or Subaru when they could have something like a Dodge, Chevy or Ford (new or Vintage) for much less money and in return have a WAY cooler car.....

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  • steelies585's Profile
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    5. steelies585 Posted on Apr 20 '09 at 10:35 AM

    I have to say, I don't agree with the BMW cliche'. I've replaced alternator bushings, a power brake booster, relashed my valves and diagnosed a shorted o2 sensor on my 535i. Regular stuff. Then again, I don't like M3s as much as I like an M5. Not to mention I would trade my car, among other things, to get 71' Monte Carlo. Also, if these are the top seven, what did you deem the other types were?

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  • Frontwheeldrivechevy's Profile
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    6. Frontwheeldrivechevy Posted on Apr 19 '09 at 10:43 PM

    Hey, ya know there are those of us that are american fwd (front wheel drive to those who don't know) rodders as well . It seems that the aftermarketers, rodders, and the "Goodguys" forget about us! Not all rodders rear rear wheel drive and have nothing else to do but look down there noses at anyone who is not like them !!! How about a frd rodders association!!!!

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  • GranPastey's Profile
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    7. GranPastey Posted on Apr 19 '09 at 8:34 PM

    how about a class for the guys who like Imports that aren't a ricers.... not all imports are ricers... and just cause csome may sound bad they can smoke any car

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  • rmadd98's Profile
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    8. rmadd98 Posted on Apr 19 '09 at 1:14 PM

    Hey stop being so critical. The prupose af any article is to make you think.

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  • turbo99miata's Profile
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    9. turbo99miata Posted on Apr 18 '09 at 5:08 PM

    Got no love for the beemer euro-trash...most of the other "types" here at least work on their own cars, something they can be proud of because they really know not because someone told the or they read it somewhere. I guess the exotic car guys probably in that same category as well. This list is just plain arrogant...

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