There are a lot of sequels that should have been made but probably never will, due to the slings and arrows of outrageous(ly bad) fortune. This isn’t to say that there’s no hope whatsoever of these movies being made, only that as of right now the odds are better that a velociraptor will bite you in the ass. But that doesn't stop us from dreaming.
By Nathan Bloch
The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.
7. Animal House II (Alternate Title: "Animal House: Crazy House")
I mean, come on. Animal House was so funny and so perfectly aimless and so irreverent, and it single-handedly created a subgenre of comedy film: the college comedy. Because of Animal House, we have greats such as Old School and Road Trip and PCU and Slackers and, well, you get the point. Due to the untimely death of John Belushi there really wasn’t any point in making a sequel, though they did make a television series out of it, for what that’s worth. Anyone who doesn’t wish a sequel had been made before Belushi died is, to quote a Neidermeyer better than myself, worthless and weak.
6. Jurassic Park 4
This was a solid franchise until they screwed it up with Jurassic Park 3. But franchises have continued after sustaining more than one disastrous sequel (cough, Aliens 3, cough cough, Aliens 4). Jurassic Park 4 deserves a chance.
Would Spielberg direct? Highly unlikely. That doesn’t mean there aren’t dozens of qualified candidates for the job – maybe even the Frenchman who directed the latest Hulk movie. He does an okay job with huge CG creatures. And there’s even a rumor floating around that Laura Dern is down to party, though if they’re thinking of releasing in 2009, which I heard was possible, then they’d need to be done with production by…yesterday. So things don’t look real good for this being in theaters any time soon.
5. The Abyss II (Alternate Title: "The Abyss: It's Even Deeper")
The Abyss kind of tanked at the box office. Yes. Pun intended. BUT it was a great movie, and audiences realized this once it was released to video. You won’t meet many people who say they don’t love the movie, though you will meet a lot of people who haven’t seen it at all.
Well, let’s do another one! Get James Cameron back, get Ed Harris – let’s even get that weirdo with the rat! This could be Cameron’s atonement for bringing Titanic into the world and sinking it all over again. Deep, dark water, aliens and red necks? Now that’s what I call a movie. I want more.
