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Posted November 18, 2008 | 30 comments

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The 20 Dumbest Band Names of All Time

The name of a band is usually the first introduction one gets to a group of new musicians trying to make it big in the biz. So it’s pretty mind-blowing when artists have a collective brain fart and decide on a band name that is just plain idiotic. You would think these so-called "brilliant" artists would be a little more creative when it came down to their lasting legacy in music’s pantheon of greatness.

 


20. Stryper

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Salvation Through Redemption, Yielding Peace, Encouragement, and Righteousness.

I am aware that the name Stryper derives from the King James Version of Isaiah 53:5:, but most people probably don’t know this. At first glance, most music listeners out there probably think that these Christian hair metal ass clowns are really into bumblebee spandex, the big man upstairs and a whole lotta Aqua Net. Either way, the name blows.

Then again, pretty much anything associated with Christian hair metal has to be bad.

19. BuckCherry

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If there was a definition of a Los Angeles douchebag in the dictionary it would have a picture of this band’s lead singer getting Buckcherry tattooed on his stomach. As if this band didn’t suck enough, they had to try to associate themselves with the immortal Chuck Berry and tarnish his name in the process. Chuck Berry has had more entertaining bowel movements than this band has cheesy barbwire tattoos.

18. Slint

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I don’t really know where the origin of this band’s name comes from, but whenever I whisper "Slint" to myself I get so enraged that I want to take a giant dump on their MySpace page. Their progressive math rock ain't half bad; it’s just a shame that they have a band name that even Mother Teresa would despise.

17. Ugly Kid Joe

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I understand that these guys were trying to poke fun at the glam rock band Pretty Boy Floyd, but only the early ‘90s could have allowed this band to produce music. I’m not saying this band was bad, I’m just sayin’ that the combination of their Generation Y Ugly Kid Joe character and the somewhat annoying pre-grunge rock track “Everything About You” turned UKJ into a straight up novelty act. Sorry, fellas.

16. Vanilla Fudge

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How in the f**k can a psychedelic rock and roll band name themselves after a soft candy made of sugar, butter and milk? This is why getting really stoned and trying to come up with a band name is really bad idea. I made that mistake once and ended up calling my band Bean and Cheese Burrito.

Comments (30)
  • Asagrim
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    1. Asagrim Posted on Nov 18 '08 at 9:08 AM

    Others I'd add:
    1.) The The - It's near impossible to search for lyrics on Google.
    2.) ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - Could you come up with something a bit longer?
    3.) Death Cab For Cutie - Yeah, another group that wants to come across deeper than it is.
    4.) Las Ketchup - 'Nuff said.
    5.) The Band - like The Music.
    6.) Kajagoogoo - It's like baby talk.
    7.) Color Me Badd - Color me annoyed.
    8.) Mott The Hoople - WTF?!?
    9.) Eagles of Death Metal - They don't sound like the Eagles, nor are they death metal.

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  • SpikeyDude7
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    2. SpikeyDude7 Posted on Nov 18 '08 at 3:58 PM

    quantum of solace... oh wait that's not a crappy emo band name?

    well how about The Soul Fakers:

    http://tinyurl.com/6poz6v

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  • Trigeia
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    3. Trigeia Posted on Nov 18 '08 at 4:00 PM

    Once we saw the Bumble bee group with the stripes it was over. I have never laughed so hard in my life. That was good very good.

    Trigeia Twinz

    http://www.TrigeiaBlog.com

    What's Your Passion ?

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  • ClusterTim's Profile
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    4. ClusterTim Posted on Nov 18 '08 at 4:33 PM

    LOL, funny! Are those bumble bee looking things guys or girls? I cant tell. I do miss the big hair 80s.

    Jess
    http://www.privacy.es.tc

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  • HoboNinja
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    5. HoboNinja Posted on Nov 18 '08 at 6:15 PM

    I have to disagree with your assessment of Forever the Sickest Kids music. They are pretty much one of my favorite bands at the moment.

    @Asagrim:
    Really you say it trys to make them come across deeper than they really are? Have you listened to their music, it probably some of the most profound and deep lyrics I have ever heard.

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  • ska5fe's Profile
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    6. ska5fe Posted on Nov 19 '08 at 9:17 AM

    This entire list in invalidated due to the omission of "Hoobastank".

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  • julian
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    7. julian Posted on Nov 19 '08 at 10:57 AM

    Classic!

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  • hendolibrary's Profile
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    8. hendolibrary Posted on Nov 19 '08 at 1:44 PM

    This article blows!

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  • thebigshow9
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    9. thebigshow9 Posted on Nov 19 '08 at 10:47 PM

    JULIAN - Your FACE is classic Bro!

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  • TheLexter's Profile
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    10. TheLexter Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 7:02 AM

    My vote is Rayzyn. Good songs, not so hard core name ---> http://www.myspace.com/rayzyn

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  • dsgb8815's Profile
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    11. dsgb8815 Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 7:49 AM

    insane clown posse is the best go to detroit talk bad about them there see how many people get mad

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  • grimeyclown's Profile
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    12. grimeyclown Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 9:29 AM

    hey fuck that shit im a fuckin juggalo and i want whoever worte this article to say that shit in MI And Ill Show Him What a Juggalo Does

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  • indyninja's Profile
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    13. indyninja Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 9:53 AM

    Hey if spike tv wants to pay to fly me out to LA for a day, I'll come decked out in my hatchet charm and my riddle box hockey jersey and even paint my face if you want. Im 25 and Ive been listening to ICP and psychopathic records since I was 13. Everybody thinks their a joke band, but it means so much more to real juggalos that really get into what they are about. There is no underground label bigger than psychopathic records and no one has more dedicated fans. Plus can you say you built a multi million dollar company from the ground up by working your ass off for years and not just because you got lucky and got signed right off the bat like most main stream artists.

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  • Real_ninja's Profile
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    14. Real_ninja Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 1:16 PM

    This article sucks, and that part about sending a juggalo to l.a. is just a stupid thing to say for the simple fact that um theres already juggalos in l.a. that rep icp 24/7. Its kinda sad to see icp get put on all these lists that give them a bad name when they have done more than anyone can even know, unless your a juggalo. They gave us a place where we can belong and all anyone does is bad mouth them. Its sad that you have to hate what you don't understand. And to any juggalos that read this article, fuck spike. Much Mother Fuckin Wicked Clown Love To All My Juggalos WooWoo!!!!!!

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  • GrundyNigga's Profile
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    15. GrundyNigga Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 1:49 PM

    MOTHER FUCK WHOEVER WORTE THIS. if they were to say that shit to any juggalo that mother fucker is gettin a god damn hatchet stuck in their fuckin forehead. Whoop--Mother Fuckin--Whoop.......Rage is the fuckin shit too.....Fuck The World

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  • bradiger
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    16. bradiger Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 3:17 PM

    WHOOP MOTHER-FUCKIN-WHOOP - couldn't have said it better! PIZZZZOOWWWW! - That's MY battle cry!

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  • kamazilla's Profile
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    17. kamazilla Posted on Nov 20 '08 at 10:28 PM

    aye if the asshole who wrote that shit about icp ever listened to icp his fuckin skull would melt from the freshness. juggalos serve their own purpose bitch! fuck yo agenda and yo bitch ass list. dont matter if were in la. (which we are) people see ninjas and know not to fuck wit em. HATCHET LUV!

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  • indyninja's Profile
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    18. indyninja Posted on Nov 21 '08 at 4:46 AM

    Come on ninjas cant any of you make an intellligent comment without cussing the guy out. No wonder no one takes us seriously.

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  • Mizz_Tiffany19
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    19. Mizz_Tiffany19 Posted on Nov 21 '08 at 8:42 AM

    You know,u must be an extremely depressed or you have no social life to try and talk crap on band names.Its a name,they came up with it because theres a meaning behind the name. You who talks all that mad shit, are a pathetic and discruntal waste of human life. Music makes people come alive, a name means nothing,how dare anyone try and judge a band by that..They should be judge on the way they produce their music.Yes this is a free country and we all are in titled to an opinion,but sometimes,opinions should be kept to ones self..because an opinion is like an asshole,everyones got one,sometimes its stinky...sometimes its not....Insane Clown posse...their name does rerpresent that fact that they wear face paint like a clown and that there is a clan of people who do paint their face...but the name represents friendship..or people who have each others back no matter what...what is a juggalo??? its a person who isnt two faced toward their friends,their always there for friends in a time of need and even though they have haters it doesnt matter because their a family..SO FUCK YOU! IM A JUGGALETEE AND PROUD OF IT! T

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  • Reverend_Danger
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    20. Reverend_Danger Posted on Nov 21 '08 at 11:19 AM

    KABLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR. also: blow me, mizz tiffany19.

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  • RAWBURGHER's Profile
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    21. RAWBURGHER Posted on Nov 21 '08 at 8:38 PM

    whoever wrote this article and spike tv are assholes,im a juggalo and it means a big fan of the group and just a flat out real person.ive benn listening to icp for 11 years and have seen them live in concert all in N.Y. 4 times.im sure there are millions of juggalos that represent in L.A.like i did in ny and now do in myrtle beach,south carolina.their first name was INNER CITY POSSE changed to INSANE CLOWN POSSE,ok not the greatest name but killer music and faithful fans for life,like the hatchetman tattoo me and my juggalette girlfriend have on the back of our necks.much clown love,TWIZTID,ABK,BLAZE YA DEAD HOMIE,KMK,DOWN WITH THE CLOWNS FOREVER.ICP FUCKIN RULES,and the guy who wrote this is a dick,maybe he would like contact comment #9 "the big show 9" cuz he looks real fucking gay with his gay butt buddy julian comment #7-PEACE TO THE REAL JUGGALOS OUT THERE-RAW

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  • SteWieH's Profile
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    22. SteWieH Posted on Nov 25 '08 at 11:02 AM

    WOOP WOOP JuggAlo in da house! Spike fly me out to LA I will sport my hatchet shit all damn day!. I'll even let you pay me noting but a trip out there and back

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  • Crazy311's Profile
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    23. Crazy311 Posted on Nov 26 '08 at 7:38 AM

    Um, so basically I loved your article until I got to number 9. Now I completely disregard anything I agreed with before and think the researcher is a complete neanderthal, salvia-smoking, waste of carbon matter. So, clearly I'm a dork, but I know good music. 311 is an awesome band and their name has many, many good stories behind it. No one actually knows what it stands for. Skinny Dipping is a good guess, but is only one theory. The best part of the bands name is the mystery around it. Either way, when fans see the signature "311" they instantly feel a bond. So, in essence, you suck.

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  • olagguj's Profile
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    24. olagguj Posted on Nov 26 '08 at 11:43 AM

    i shuld split ur bitch ass wigs for callin insane clown posse a dumb band name

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  • FreekshowNinjalo's Profile
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    25. FreekshowNinjalo Posted on Nov 26 '08 at 12:04 PM

    i find it funny spike TV disses ICP but they own part of T.N.A wrestling which you broadcast... better watch your lip

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  • hurracaine57's Profile
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    26. hurracaine57 Posted on Nov 26 '08 at 7:48 PM

    thats what she said

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  • fitz_the_clown's Profile
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    27. fitz_the_clown Posted on Jan 9 '09 at 2:05 AM

    two things... 1. you probably got more of a response from mentioning icp than you EVER got from mentioning any other band.(which kinda proves a point in itself), and B. you should've given em number one, i mean they are already the most hated band in the world, might as well have the dumbest name also cuz we all know being number two kinda sucks. much clown luv. peace

    ~PSY~

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  • eightonesix007's Profile
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    28. eightonesix007 Posted on Jan 11 '09 at 1:37 AM

    Hahahaha. Yeah juggalos are fucking stupid. Half of you are probably pussys hiding under your moms makeup. Seriously who the fuck would take a clown seriously. oh yeah WRESTLING IS FAKE. Try wrestling a guy who is a black belt in hapkido. he will break you.

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  • Wilhelm99's Profile
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    29. Wilhelm99 Posted on Apr 1 '09 at 10:57 AM

    First of all, Mizz Tiffany, try using the english language when you write. Second, people have every right to judge a band by its name. We can't choose the names our parents give us, but we can choose the name of a band we start, so judge away. Lastly, "an opinion is like an asshole,everyones got one,sometimes its stinky...sometimes its not." Wow, that's deep.

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  • jackmanthebig's Profile
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    30. jackmanthebig Posted on Jul 23 '09 at 12:33 AM

    dude if u were smart at all u would realize that icps name makes a whole lot of sense now if u wanna here a dumbass name heres one for u dsussman that makes no sense at all the only real word in that is man now how did u like a taste of ur own medicine

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