No one enjoys purchasing condoms. It is excruciatingly embarrassing to walk up to the drug store counter with a box in your sweaty hands. You try to act nonchalantly, but at the same time you feel like everyone in the store is staring at you. Because purchasing condoms is a strange and stressful experience, it makes sense that condom advertisements would be equally as strange.
Source: Henry Horenstein / Stone / Getty Images
By Nick Coles
The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.
10. Safe Sex Airline
This weird Dutch commercial shows a flight attendant demonstrating the flight’s safety procedures. The sexy air hostess signals the exits, and then whips out a condom as if she’s about to join the mile high club. This unexpected act draws audible gasps from the passengers who are waiting to take off, not get off. These passengers have no idea they are on board Safe Sex Airlines. The guys on the flight seem especially unimpressed by the demonstration. They just want to get to their hip hop conference in peace.
9. Become a Love Machine
Source: Beate Uhse
Love Machine condoms, manufactured by German adult company Beate Uhse, promise to “give longer, take longer.” These condoms make you last so long you can solve an entire Sudoku, join-the-dots game, or crossword puzzle while doing the wild thing. Alternatively it means that these condoms desensitize sex and make it so boring that the only way to get through it is to have a puzzle to solve. Either way, if you’re a puzzle man, this may be the best sex of your life.
8. Dude Stalked by (Se)Men
If you were stalked by hundreds of fully grown men dressed up as human sperm, you’d probably think twice about having sex, or leaving the house. This scary old school condom commercial from Durex drives home the need for protection. Those se-men are plain creepy.
7. Skeletons Do the Wild Thing
Source: Tulipan
We all know unprotected sex can have dangerous, evenly deadly, consequences. But do we need to resort to displays of skeleton porn? Does seeing bones slapping together give you a boner or even make you contemplate one? If the answer is yes, then you are a sick man.
Argentinean condom maker Tulipan pulls out the old scare tactics in their “Be Careful” campaign. This gratuitous depiction of skeleton sex is intended to scare you into action. We get it. Sex is great, but it’s not worth dying for. Then again, from the looks of things these skeletons have a healthy sex life.
6. Weird Indian Condom Commercial
Sex Ed. goes Bollywood in this Indian condom PSA. This epic 7-minute commercial is presented by four grown men, each dressed up as a different colored human-sized condom. They are like condom super heroes, except instead of super powers they have the power of song and dance. This quartet of prophylactics professes the virtues of condoms with beautiful voices and killer dance steps. They are even joined by a group of male back-up dancers who reinforce the condoms' message that the condom is “very useful” and that he is “your friend.” It really is very beautiful.
