When it comes to movies, we love an iconic villain almost as much as a memorable hero. That’s why guys like Darth Vader, the Joker, and the Terminator have and will continue to endure and be as beloved as their heroic counterparts. Of course, for every great villain, there’s another bad guy who we can’t help but think it’d be pretty easy to defeat when push comes to shove.
Source: LucasArts
By Jeff Kelly
10. Jabba the Hutt (Return of the Jedi)
Yes, we know what you’re going to say: Jabba was a monstrosity with dozens of minions at his disposal, and one of the most feared mobsters in the galaxy. Yeah, he was such a badass that all it took to defeat him was a 115 pound girl wearing a metal bikini who got the jump on him.
Really? That’s your big bad mobster, Star Wars? Not only did he get his ass handed to him by Leia, but imagine for a second it was just you and Jabba in the room, and you’ve really pissed him off. You know what you’ll have to do in order to survive? Stay on the other side of the room. Seriously, the dude was like two tons and could hardly move. He’s about as much a threat to chase after you as a double wide.
9. Emperor Commodus (Gladiator)
Source: Dreamworks SKG
Like Jabba, Commodus has one thing, and one thing only, that makes him at all tough: he’s the freakin’ emperor. But take that away for a moment, and what you’re left with is a sniveling little bitch with severe daddy issues who does nothing the entire movie but cry and whine about how nobody likes him (making him the first emo emperor). Oh, and he tries to sleep with his sister, so he’s got that whole creepy vibe going for him.
And at the end of the movie, even though he’s mortally wounded Maximus to the point where he dies within about 30 seconds of their fight being over (meaning he must have been about as weak as that same 115 pound girl in a metal bikini that took down Jabba at that point), Commodus still gets absolutely worked. And then he cries a little more while the life drains out of him.
8. Deacon Frost (Blade)
Source: New Line Cinema
Long before Edward Cullen, there was another metrosexual vampire trying to ruin humanity. While Edward did it by starring in a god-awful book and movie series based on the fantasies of lonely Goth girls, Deacon Frost did it by trying to awaken some super vampire powers that would make vampires the dominant species on the planet.
A vampire should be intimidating, right? Well, with Deacon Frost’s perfectly feathered hair, designer clothes, and the fact he was played by scrawny little Stephen Dorff, that became a little difficult to pull off. Add in the fact that he spent the majority of the movie moping around whining about how it was so unfair that the vampires couldn’t just take over, and you realize that maybe he and Commodus should have gotten together to go bowling and listen to New Found Glory.
7. Cobra Commander (GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra)
Source: Paramount Pictures
Now if you haven’t seen this one yet, you may want to skim over it due to a few spoilers that might ruin the way-too-convenient-and-contrived plot for you. Now, Cobra Commander was never a particularly intimidating guy. Have you ever wondered what would happen if Starscream took over command of the Decepticons? That’s basically what you have with Cobra Commander.
But in Rise of Cobra, they go ahead and cast Joseph Gordon-Levitt, a.k.a. the kid from Angels in the Outfield and 3rd Rock From the Sun, in the role and put him in one of the most ridiculous looking get-ups (and hair pieces) in recent movie history. Add in the equally absurd dubbed-over voice, and you’ve got yourself a villain that inspires more laughs than terror. By the end of the movie, you’re almost hoping he’ll get a wacky sitcom spin-off.
6. The Penguin (Batman Returns)
Source: Warner Bros.
Take a look at Danny DeVito. Go ahead, take a good long look. Are you frightened? A little scared, even remotely? Do you think he could cause you even a small amount of physical harm? Didn’t think so. So stick him in a suit that makes him look like a penguin, give him an umbrella as a weapon, and have him just waddle around all over the place, and you don’t exactly have one of the most imposing villains ever.
Now, the Penguin has always been a little goofy as a villain. In Batman Returns, it’s no different. Sure, he’s got some creepy makeup that makes him look a little like a demented clown, but at the end of the day he just looks like a guy who should be in a circus freak show and not vying for control of the streets of Gotham. It’s tough to believe Batman could ever take him seriously, knowing that at any time he could just put his hand on Penguin’s forehead and hold him at bay, kind of like you do to your little brother.
