I’m not totally okay with the general state of fashion in 2009. I treat fashion like I treat my convection oven and 1997 Mazda 323. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Here are 10 fashions we can all easily embrace the reemergence of.
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10. Fanny Packs
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Convenience is paramount with the fanny pack. Where else are you going to hold your 35mm film and map of the area? Alternately known (by me) as a FUPA pack, the fanny pack makes no compromises for design or symmetry when it comes to hauling around your valuables. Plus: granola bar whenever you want one.
9. Hammer Pants
Don’t your balls feel pretty sweaty and confined right now? Don’t you think you would have a much easier time dancing or, say, running through a Cave of Wonders if you had a little more room to let things move down there? Oh how I miss the Hammer Pants. Although, more precisely, I was always a fan of Zubaz.
8. Member’s Only Jackets
Source: Style Bakery
Member’s Only jackets made you look and feel like a field reporter in a third world country run by a ruthless despot who could only be unseated by your journalistic rigor, wit, and general savoir faire. Also, they had a lot of pockets which is great for the same reason fanny packs are great.
7. Hypercolor Shirts
Source: thefunctionkey.com
Hypercolor shirts were these amazing shirts that changed color when their temperature changed. We call that thermochromic fashion. So the big thing was to twist them up like you were going to tie dye them and then blow on that part of the shirt to see the design it made. Bonus, you had chicks (sometimes foxy, sometimes otherwise) blowing (on) you all the time. Bring it back, Hypercolor. And, by the way, I’ve got your new flagship: Hypercolor thongs.
6. Shoulder Pads
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Yeah, girls. Not very many dudes will admit this, but it’s pretty hot if it looks like you might be able to take down a AA linebacker from Texas. Plus, most of the time shoulder pads were part of a very much empowered business suit. What? I can’t be the only person out there that thinks a lady with a job is sexy. Call me a dreamer, but I want to be a stay-at-home dad when I grow up.
