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Posted November 06, 2009 | 12 comments

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The Seven Biggest Fake Badasses in Music

There have been many musicians over the years that have taken their image as being larger-than-life badasses a little too far. Some of these artists even started to believe that they were as invincible as they portrayed themselves in their music and lifestyle. This outrageousness needs to be addressed, so we're putting these artists in check.

Source: Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images

7. Lil Wayne

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Source: Lester Cohen/Getty Images

On the lead track "3 Peat" on the Tha Carter III, Lil Wayne brags openly about getting shot, as many MCs past have done. Wayne raps: “Two more inches I’d been in that casket. According to the doctor I could've died in traffic.” What he failed to mention was that he actually shot himself by accident at the age of 12. Idiot.

I initially thought that this rap was about when Wayne got shot on his tour bus back in 2001 by a gang of angry female groupies, but that was a completely different scenario. Not only did this guy get shot by a girl, he’s the only self-proclaimed "gangsta" that got shot by his own hand.  That fact that he acts like he somehow cheated death is pretty laughable. 50 Cent got shot nine times and lived. Now that’s cheating death. Wayne is also only 5' 6" and has been famous since the age of 15. It seems like a serious Napoleon complex and a very out-of-control ego have made Weezy believe that he's totally unstoppable. Some gangsta.

6. Johnny Cash

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Source: Ron Galella/Getty Images

I honestly love Johnny Cash. Putting him on this list actually has little to nothing to do with Cash himself. It’s his fans that have created this image of him as being the manliest man in the history of this planet that are really to blame. As far as his music is concerned, this may be a true statement. But Cash as a human being is just a tad bit more mortal.

Cash’s “Outlaw Image” was mostly created by his years of notorious drug use and run-ins with the law. First off, Cash never served a prison sentence in his life. He did find himself in jail on seven different occasions for misdemeanors, but only spent a single night for each. Cash also destroyed 508 acres of the Los Padres National Forest after his truck caught fire back in 1965. Bonehead mishaps like this only made his legend grow even more.

The fact that he played Folsom Prison was pretty much the tipping point. This made every killer, lawbreaker, and future punk rocker in the world worship the ground he walked the line on. Have you ever watched an interview with the guy? Even though he dressed in black 24/7, the man was obviously a sweetheart of a human being who surrounded himself with family, friends, and loved ones at all times. At his core, Cash was a very loving man who was actually warm, caring, and sometimes even shy. If he was ever the loner “Tall Man” character certain fans worship, it was only during his battles with pill addiction.

I feel like people are more impressed with his insane tales of being a raging pill and booze hound rather than his actual music. The irony here has to be the fact that Johnny Cash almost ruined his entire life because of this so-called “badass” behavior that made him so infamous to fans in the first place. Luckily for him, with the help of his wife June, Cash was able to get clean and sober and turn his life completely around. Cash himself even seemed to look down upon those dark years as being huge mistake, as well as a serious learning experience for his future life. Watch this 60 Minutes interview if you don’t believe me.

5. Sid Vicious

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Source: Richard E. Aaron/getty Images

Let’s just say it outright: Sid Vicious was more of a poseur than the devil incarnate. He may have worn the uniform of a scrappy badass, but we all know that that was just a cartoon-like image that was eventually blown way out of proportion after his death. What did he really do over the span of his short career that made people think that he was some kind of infallible punk God? He was a 21-year-old kid. The fact that Sid has been made out to be one of the most important punk rock icons of all time is a bit perplexing to me. As a pet project of band manager and fashion designer Malcolm McLaren, Sid was transformed into the literal poster boy for British punk rock. But unlike, say, Joe Strummer of The Clash, Sid's contribution to punk had more to do with heroin chic, leather jackets, and photogenic sneers than it did with ethos and artistic merit.

4. Rick Ross

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Source: Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images

Oh, Officer Ricky. Even though his talent as an MC has always been in question, it was The Smoking Gun’s 2008 report linking Mr. Ross to a two-year stint as a correctional officer in a Florida prison that exposed Ross as a total fraud. The unearthed photo of Ricky in a correctional officer uniform didn’t help either.

Now I’ve heard of rappers having some odd jobs before that made it big in the game, but this is just plain ridiculous. What has happened to rap? If you’re going to spit raps about all your illegal cocaine activity and gloat about being the new Tony Montana of Miami, you better be able to back that s*** up. Tony Montana was a private in the Cuban army, but he was never a f***ing rat. Shame on you, Officer Ricky.

 

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Comments (12)
  • bradiger
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    1. bradiger Posted on Nov 6 '09 at 10:40 AM

    I never realized how much Glenn looks like a roided-out John Travolta.

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  • mike_the_dude's Profile
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    2. mike_the_dude Posted on Nov 6 '09 at 11:02 AM

    You are right. Johnny Cash does'nt really belong on this list of phoney ass chumps

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  • anti_hero1317
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    3. anti_hero1317 Posted on Nov 6 '09 at 1:01 PM

    Danzig is over hyped and like you said Johnny Cash doesnt need to be on here its the idiotic fans that beleive him to be the godly badass that got him on here

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  • issysaatchi's Profile
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    4. issysaatchi Posted on Nov 6 '09 at 1:41 PM

    I think that Glen Beck is the biggest poser. Interesting stuff though; a very enjoyable article.

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  • ANDREHERRING
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    5. ANDREHERRING Posted on Nov 6 '09 at 1:43 PM

    roosevelt is just as bad as vanguard you stupid fool they are both crip schools.get your shit right before you post shit about compton........um a compton nigga,i went to whaley jr high a blood and crip school....fights every day....andre herring

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  • MR.B187's Profile
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    6. MR.B187 Posted on Nov 6 '09 at 1:55 PM

    I never liked Lil Wayne's dumb ass or Officer Rick Ross, the lyin' asshole. Danzig gets put on his ass in one punch? That's not badassed. Nugent's fuckin' disgusting. I don't wanna visualize Dr. Dre in lipstick and a speedo. Does Johnny Cash really belong on this list? Probably not. Did I mention that Lil Wayne's a dumbass? Him and Plaxico Burress need to get together sometime.

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  • ccbeeno's Profile
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    7. ccbeeno Posted on Nov 8 '09 at 5:04 AM

    Dude,. Lil Wayne is Da Bomb yo! Plain and simple!

    RT
    www.private-web.se.tc

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  • ellewood's Profile
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    8. ellewood Posted on Nov 8 '09 at 10:57 AM

    The Sex Pistols were a manufactured boy band really! They were TOLD not to wear Pink Floyd t-shirts which in turn created the punk/prog rock rivalry! hoodwinked lol THANKS FOR THE GREAT POST!!!

    http://twitter.com/ELLEWOODmusic

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  • EliJakeman's Profile
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    9. EliJakeman Posted on Nov 8 '09 at 5:53 PM

    Most Gangsta Rappers are fake, or at least their raps are. If dealing drugs was great why aren't they still doing it? Yeah, it's awesome always looking over your shoulder. It livin' the life not trusting anyone. Not knowing who's gonna rat you out, or where the cops are. None of the Keep It Real! %0 and Ja Rule, are both idiots. In an assalt case the accused gets a Peace Bond put on them automatically. Anyone that's ever been charged with assault knows that!!

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  • username1234fdsak's Profile
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    10. username1234fdsak Posted on Nov 8 '09 at 9:16 PM

    Sid Vicious did stab his girlfriend and OD on heroin.

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  • bradiger
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    11. bradiger Posted on Nov 9 '09 at 12:22 PM

    Allegedly. Also, ODing on heroin doesn't make you a badass, it makes you suck at being a junkie.

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  • reh629
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    12. reh629 Posted on Nov 10 '09 at 6:43 AM

    i neverunderstood why music artists, especially men, try to portray some sort of badass character. i am sorry. no one in the music biz is a badass. they are all pampered prima donnas. and there is nothing wrong with that. just be you.



    rick ross being a C.O is not a big deal. do fans realize if rappers lived the lives they rapped about. they would be serving 10-15.

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