The Top 10 Worst Games Based on Movies
Video games that come from movies are almost always worse than movies that come from books. They're completely different mediums - lovely on their own - but they're used for different things and that often makes translation difficult or impossible. Games are about playing. Movies are passive. And the makers of these games have room temperature I.Q.s.
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10. Raiders of the Lost Ark
Part of the reason this game sucked was that it was on Atari 2600. I get it. Don’t bother commenting about that. But I ask that you consider this: Atari 2600 was also responsible for the egg that hatched the entire gaming universe, Pong. Pong was off the hizzy, and Raiders of the Lost Ark, by comparison, was totally on the hizzy. Nobody wants to be on the hizzy.
9. Friday the 13th
This game is universally reviled for a variety of reasons, and it would be number one if it weren’t so obvious. That’s like saying Michael Jordan was the greatest basketball player of all time. True enough, but not that interesting. Friday the 13th failed for many reasons, but the principal one is that in this horror game, there is very little horror. You don’t play as Jason, and even when you see him, he is in broad daylight and moving slowly. Weak.
8. Shrek 2
Yes, it was for the Gamecube, and I’m aware that maybe a 20-something dude that plays and replays Crackdown isn’t the target audience. But seriously. I actually liked Shrek (the movie). There was enough in there to enjoy in there even for a cynical, old S.O.B. like me. But this game wrung the tongue in cheek out and focused solely on the blind dollar harvesting that made me hate Shrek 2 and Shrek 3 (the movies) so G.D. much. For shame, Shrek. You make a terrible ogre king.
7. Jaws: Unleashed
Jaws was (and is) effing terrifying, and every little boy is obsessed with (and an expert on) sharks. This seems like an automatic home run. But, to be perfectly frank, I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'd rather be eaten alive be a real great white shark than be forced to play this game from beginning to end. Jaws: Unleashed is hard to control, not ridiculous enough to be funny, and only fun for about 10 minutes
6. Star Wars: Bounty Hunter
Like Shrek, Star Wars has been strip mined beyond anything my furtive mind could’ve possibly imagined (and it can imagine some pretty crazy s**t). For that reason I hated Star Wars: Bounty Hunter. However, it ultimately falls into video game hell because of its crucifixion of super badass Jango Fett, a.k.a. The Fettman. He’s hard to control, not very deadly, and only looks okay. He’s the exact opposite of everything an interstellar bounty hunter should be, and this game is the exact opposite of awesome.