The A to Z of Chasing Plus-Sized Chicks
Big girls need love too. Yes, they may tip the scale, be expensive dinner dates, and the butt of jokes, but underneath it all there's a heart longing to be loved. If you’re a man that lacks game, appreciates some curves, and desperately wants to hold someone, or at least try, then the plus-size lady is for you.
Source: Stuart McClymont / Stone+ / Getty Images
A is for Anger
Plus-sized chicks have a lot of pent-up anger. An inner rage boils inside them. They are mad that the world is thin-obsessed. They hate how women are portrayed in the media. They ramble on about “looking healthy” and being proud to be a curvy woman. Usually they vent on feminist websites or target articles (like this one) that are somewhat critical of their type. Sometimes they just take it out on their man.
B is for Business Class
When you date a big girl, your days of flying coach are over.
C is for Curves
Big girls claim to love their curves, and they also love Curves the gym. The way to a her heart is through her curves. Compliment her curve-a-licious body and she’ll be yours forever. What she won’t tell you is she spends hours at a Curves, working on those curves.
Source: Sian Kennedy / Stone / Getty Images
D is for Diet
These women are constantly dieting. Or at least they say they're dieting. In truth they never stick to it, or working out. That's why they're plus-sized. They buy every diet book published and have attempted every single fad diet. This constant yo-yoing can leave a man confused. A man doesn’t know if he should take his lady out for a Bloomin’ Onion at Outback Steak House or some fancy organic raw bar.
E is for Easier
Chances are, the reason why you're chasing larger chicks is because it’s usually easier to snag one, and they are oh-so-grateful.
F is for Fast Food
Fast food outlets are also a great place to meet a super-sized date option. But beware! Fast food is a fat person’s heroin. It can give a person an incredible high, but also bring out the worst in that person. Fast food is available around the clock, so there is no stopping a girl who must have her fix. Consider yourself warned.
Source: Patrick Ryan / Stone+ / Getty Images
G is for Granny Pants
When you get a big girl naked, don’t expect her to be wearing sexy lacy underwear. And if she does, they're going to be stretched so that they do not look the way they're supposed to.
H is for Hot Friend
Girls with a few extra pounds almost always have hot female friends. This is because hot girls hang around big girls to make themselves feel and look better. Hooking up with a plus-sized lady can have fringe benefits down the road, as her thin friends will realize that they can put on a few pounds without you freaking out on them.
I is for Ice-Cream
If you upset your lady friend, she is probably going to deal with the sadness, anger, and frustration by eating tubs and tubs of ice cream. If you want to bring a peace offering, bring a tub of Rocky Road. It works every time!