Vlad The Impaler vs Alexander The Great, Maori and Gladiator

January 15, 2011

(Sorry about the Delay...I was busy/bored.)

Vlad the Impaler, the Romanian Prince whose thrust for Blood was inspirtaion for Dracula fights Alexander the Great, the Maceadonian Prince who made one of the largest empires known to man, a Maori, the New Zealend warriors who masters Mao Taiaha and a Gladiator, the Crowd-Pleasing Killers of Rome.


Vlad the Impaler strikes with:

Short Range: Killij Sword

Medium Range: Halbred

Long Range: Steel Crossbow

Special Weapon: Hand Cannon

Armor: Chainmail, Steel Plates, Steel Helmet, Shield

Stragety: Intimidation


Alexander the Great wages war with:

Short Range: Kopis Sword

Medium Range: Xyston Spear

Long Range:  Gastraphetes Bow

Special Weapon: Ballista Catapult

Armor: Bronze Cuirass

Stragety: Adapt


The Maori assaults with:

Short Range: Mere Club

Medium Range: Taiaha & Stingray Spear

Long Range: Poi Fruit Sling

Special Weapon: Shark Tooth Club

Armor: None

Stragety: Brute Force


The Gladiator charges in with:

Short Range: Cestus "Boxing" Glove & Scissor

Medium Range: Trident & Net

Long Range: Sling

Special Weapon: Sica Sword

Armor: Bronze Helmet, Shield

Stragety: Kill as Brutally as Possible to entertain


Killij vs Kopis, Mere Club and Cestus and Scissor EDGE: Killij

No Sword has cutting power like the Killij...end of story!

Halbred vs Xyston, Taiaha and Trident/Net Combo EDGE: Xyston

The Xyston is much longer and deadlier compared to every one of these weapons. Although the Halbreds armor-piercing power may do better than the Trident AND the Taiaha.

Steel Crossbow vs Gastraphedes, Poi and Sling EDGE: EVEN

The Poi and Sling have little to no killing potential and the Gastaphedes and Steel Crossbow have terrible re-load time.

Hand Cannon vs Ballista, Shark Tooth Club and Sica Sword EDGE: EVEN

The Ballistas Gigantic Bolts along with its range would kill Vlad, so it would have gotten the edge but the Hand Cannons speed and faster reload time can kill the Maori and Gladiator and then use the Spike at the end to clobber Alexander but it cannot shoot as far compared to the Ballista.

Chainmail, Steel Plates, Steel Helmet, Shield vs Bronze Cuirass, No Armor and Bronze Helmet, Shield EDGE: Chainmail, Steel Plates, Steel Helmet, Shield

Vlads Superior Armor will make it so that the only weapons he will have to worry about would really be the Ballista, Xyston. But not even the Armor can save him from Alexander the Great along with a charging Maori and Gladiator, so lets see how this goes.

Intimidation vs Adapt, Brute force and Kill as Brutally as Possible to entertain EDGE: Adapt

Intimidation wont stop any of these 3 warriors from trying to kill Vlad...And well Adapting is about as Great as The Art Of War.



Short Range: Vlad The Impaler

Medium Range: Alexander the Great

Long Range: EVEN

Special Weapon: EVEN

Armor: Vlad the Impaler

Stragety: Alexander the Great


- Area: Dense forest with bushes, mountaintop, field

-Alexander will NOT have a Horse so Vlad wont have as much trouble.


Vlad the Impaler is eating bread with blood from his impaled victims. He has been told 3 warriors want to kill him. So they requested that he goes back to his castle and escape. Offended by the "insult" he has his more loyal men impale those people. However, thinking about it, he grabs his Killij, Halbred, Steel Crossbow and Hand Cannon and went out to eat.

Alexander the Great, he has heard of Vlad the Impaler and thought he was a myth until he saw him from the mountaintop. Now Alexander wants to kill Vlad for Glory. He commands 2 of his men to start cranking the Ballista. He set up his Gastraphedes and Xyston around a forset, Kopis in hand.

The Maori, red and furious and determined to kill Vlad because when his family moved to Romainia, there family was ambushed by Vlad the Impaler and his men. The Maori managed to escape but his family was impaled on the spot. The Maori puts his Mere Club and SharkTooth Club in a bush. He puts the Taiaha against a tree and readies his Poi Fruit Sling with a Coconut. 

The Gladiator, while he did not want to kill Vlad the Impaler, however after he escaped a boat that was originally going to ship him to Persia for unknown reasons, grabs his weapons and runs off to Romania. However, he has heard rumors of Vlad as well. He sets his Trident/Net on a tree, attaches a shealth to hold his Sica in his hand, Scissor on the other while he is also wearing 2 cestuses.

Alexander commands his unit to fire the large Ballista Bolt. Alexander then asks his men if they want to assist him. The men simply reply with "No way Sir. I have faith you will defeat him, but if you dont, we will get a stake up our @ss! Were out. Good Luck Sir!" as they mount there horses and flee.


The Maori throws his Coconut at Vlad and grabs the Mere and Sharktooth Club as he pops out, suprising Vlad as he performs his Haka. Vlad then hears a clanging sound as he sees a Coconut appear. He laughs as he takes out his Killij, then he lets out a shocked gasp as a rock just barely hit him in the head. He turns to see what it was as he sees a Gladiator with a Shield and Trident making odd but furious war crys at him.

Vlad now is furious that he sees 2 warriors ready to kill him. He thinks to himself "Great, how can this get ANY worse?". He turns around to see a gigantic (Ballista) Bolt go though the table he was eating. He turns around to see Alexander holding a Xyton. Vlad, now realizing he is getting tag-teamed, puts his Killij away and grabs his Halbred. He now goes backward so that all 3 warriors are facing forward. The Gladiator chargesas Vlad digs the Bladed side into the Gladiators hip, somehow not killing him, and throws the Gladiator to the ground. The Maori charges in with the Taiaha and Mere Club. The Maori charges as Vlad thrusts the Spear again. However this time, the Maori ducks under the Halbred and breakes it with the Mere Club. Vlad the Impaler hits the Maori across the face with the stick from the Halbred and takes out his Killij.

Alexander now charges with the Xyston however when he thrusts it Vlad sucsessfully ducks and cuts the head of the Mighty Spear off.  Alexander now throws the Spear on the Ground as he runs to the bush to get his Gastraohedes. The Gladiator finnaly gets up and charges with the Trident. The Gladiator however throws the net around Vlads legs, causing Vlad the Impaler to fall down. The Gladiator throws the Trident but it misses and Vlad quickly Disembowels the Gladiator with the Killij.

The Maori now starts swinging the Taiaha and Mere Club at Vlad the Impaler. Vlad fights back with the Killij. The Maori knocks away the Killij with the Mere Club and knocks the Helmet off with the Taiaha. The Maori laughs and continues chasing Vlad until he goes back to his table. The Maori continues chasing until Vlad comes out with the Steel Crossbow and shoots the Maori, hitting him in the Shoulder. The Maori rips the bow and continues attacking. Vlad the Impaler decides to kill the Maori by taking out the Hand Cannon and shooting him in the Heart, which he does.

The Maori falls down dead as Vlad smirks and snickers after realizing he killed two people. But his snicker ends after he remembers fighting 3 fighters. He Re-loads his Hand Cannon and looks around for Alexander. Alexander quickly fires the arrow, hitting Vlad the Impaler in the Shoulder. Vlad Grunts as he shoots the Hand Cannon, just barely missing Alexander. Alexander puts the Gastraphedes down and takes out the Kopis with his shield. Vlad the Impaler swings the Spike on the Hand Cannon frantically but Alexander dodges it and kicks Vlad in his elbow, breaking his left elbow and making him lose his Hand Cannon. Vlad the Impaler quickly takes out his Killij. Each one start to clang swords. Alexander slams the shield against his face, knocking him to the ground. Alexander slams his foot against his crotch/scrotum/b@lls etc. Vlad yells in pain as Alexander thrusts the Kopis into Vlad the Impalers face. Alexander yells "MACEDONIA!!!" to show he has defeated Vlad the Impaler. In fact the Battle Cry was so loud that his 2 men heard and came to aid him.



Assesment: (why he/she won)

Alexanders tatics and long range efficiantcy along with the Gladiator and Maori's efficincy at close range with the Maori being able to take all the damage easily overcame Vlad the Impaler.


Alexander the Great Kills: 433 Kills

Xyston: 278 Kills

Kopis: 115 Kills

Ballista: 26 Kills

Gastraphedes: 14 Kills

The Xystons length and armor piercing power got 278 outstanding Kills

The Kopis's design along with its speed got 128 Kills

The Ballistas range and huge bolts and accuracy but the slowness got 26 Kills.

The Gastraphedes slow-ness with its armor slowness got 14 Kills

Alexander the Great effincincy at Medium range and Long range with the Gladiators ability to fight at close range easily demolished Vlad.


Gladiator Kills: 167 Kills

Trident & Net: 98 Kills

Sica Sword: 52 Kills

Scissor: 14 Kills

Cestus: 3 Kills

Sling: 0 Kills

The Trident & Nets flexibility got 98 Kills but was serverly hindered

The Sica Swords design got 52 Kills along with its superior length over the Killij

The Scissors slowness got 14 Kills

The Cestus's incredibily short range couldnt even achive 3 kills

The Sling's multiple serverences got 0 kills

While the Gladiator did severly lack in Kills, his specalness in close range along with his incredible close range capibilities still did the team good.


Maori Kills: 58 Kills

Taiaha: 46 Kills

Mere Club: 6 Kills

Shark tooth Club: 6 Kills

Stingray Spear: 0 Kills

Poi Fruit Sling: 0 Kills

The Taiaha's versitility got 46 Kills

The Mere Clubs Blunt damage got 6 kills

The Shark Tooth Club got 6 kills

The Stingray Spear and Poi's uselessness each got 0 kills.

The Maori was able to take damage long enough to easily kill Vlad the Impaler.


Vlad the Impaler: 329 Kills

Killij: 171 Kills

Halbred: 89 Kills

Hand Cannon: 67 Kills

Steel Crossbow: 15 Kills 

The Killij's amazing slicing power got 171 kills regardless of the range.

The Halbred is a good weapon, but due to the fact that he was facing 3 enemies at one made it hard to get a high amount of kills but still got an decent 89 kills against the 3 warriors fighting against him.

The Hand Cannon's accuracy, spike got 67 but was hindered by the Hand Cannon.

The Steel Crossbows crummy reload time got 15 Kills.

Vlad simply could not stand up to the 3 warriors even with his amazing weaponscould not defeat the Maori, Alexander the Great and the Gladiator.



NEXT UP: The Viking, the European Bezerkers fights a Celt, the Irish Warriors.