Lee Mercer Jr. is the proud “Negro American Citizen” and the son to Lee L. Mercer Sr. and mother Tommie Mercer. He's running for President as part and parcel of his ROTC training. He was also a member of the Science Club and the Club Officer in his Agriculture Future Farmers of America development. Plus, he kind of looks like the galactic president from The 5th Element or Michael Clark Duncan – both of whom I trust to run this country in a kickass way. To be honest, that’s pretty much all I’m going on.
You line up Bruce Willis and Jovovich-dressed-in-white-ribbon next to this guy and I guarantee 35% of the popular vote (+ or – 3 points). But Lee Mercer Jr. isn’t just a pretty face, let’s take a look at what he has to say about the issues.
On the War in Iraq:
There is some concern about the war in Iraq. I know of U.S. government evidence that the war in Iraq is illegal and it can be solved through me representing the United States Government with a peace treaty.
Bam! Suck it Barack with your weak-ass soft exit. Lee Mercer Jr.’s in town to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and he’s fresh out of Juicy Fruit. But what does Mr. Mercer think about the Executive Branch oversight? Surely in light of the dubious dealings of our previous administration he’ll have some major overhauls.
There is some concern about crime in the government how the government is doing for its government [sic] and its citizens national [sic] and international.
Okay, fair enough. Under-promise and over-deliver. I can respect that. Tell us more, Mr. Mercer. What are your ideas about homeland security? How can we be sure we’ll be safe with your steady hand at the helm of the Good Ship America?
There is some concern about the Public Protector and the methodology, technology and technocracy of the Public Protection.
Well you can certainly see he’s concerned. Like, super concerned. If you need any further convincing, though - if you're some kind of jaded, heartless cynic - check out his list of 70 reasons he needs to be Prez. If you don't have that kind of time, here's the best one, #49.
49. To Prove the United States Government killed my sex life, my wife sex life [sic], my daughter-in –laws sex life both may [sic] sons and other of my family members [sic] sex life with Espionage Experimentation and Espionage Exploitation sex killing.