Basketball "Star" Learns That Between the Cheeks is Not the Best Place to Hide Your Weed

March 12, 2010

Contrary to what prison inmates and Columbian flight attendants claim, local police officers are not afraid to strap on the white gloves and go “fishing for baggies” when something looks a little fishy. Just ask one former roundball pro who’s currently making his NBA comeback in a Salt Lake City Jail.

Robert Whaley, a career benchwarmer (if you call 23 games on the Utah Jazz a “career”) was pulled over by police officers for violating the state's seat belt laws yesterday afternoon in a routine traffic stop.

That’s when the fun began.

After giving the cops a fake name (like other athletes with warrants out for their arrests in other states and a career scoring average that would make Darko Milicic giggle often do), the officers eventually figured out his real identity and decided “What the hell? Let’s search him!”

Bad news for Whaley.

“Robert was found to be in possession of several baggies of marijuana that he was holding between his buttocks,” a police officer wrote.

I’m not so sure the “I was holding it for a friend” or “I have no idea how that got there” defenses are going to work here, but at least his experience in anal drug smuggling will be beneficial in his new bar-clad home.

Photo: Andy Lyons/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images