The Deadlift Dozen: A List Of Our Favorite Meatheads
by Kevin MarshallApril 26, 2013 at 12:00AM
Likely the biggest movie release this weekend is "Pain and Gain," a heist comedy focused around muscle-headed gym rats starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Mark Wahlberg.
It got us to thinking about some of our favorite affable meatheads from movie and television. Here's our list.
Kubiak From "Parker Lewis Can't Lose"
He started out as a braindead bully, but eventually became more of a sympathetic, endearing character. "The K on my jacket doesn't just stand for Captain," he once explained. "It also stands for 'friend'."
Meat From "Porky's"
His nickname derived not from the fact that he was kind of a musclehead, but…well, you know. I guess this is a film of its time, but in retrospect the whole movie and the way those guys talked about each other's privates is kinda weird.
Johnny, the Cobra Kai Wunderkind from "Karate Kid"
Source: Columbia Pictures
The villain of the film who eventually gains respect and shows a bit of remorse for his actions towards the end. Not that it excuses anything he did, because dude, what the Hell? You swept the leg!
O'Doyle in "Billy Madison"
How often do you still see someone do something kind of jerky then throw their arms up and yell "O'Doyle Rules"? Okay, maybe I'm the only one doing that.
Ogre From "Revenge of the Nerds"
Source: 20th Century Fox
His dialogue consisted solely of him screaming "NNNNNNEEEEERRRRRRRDS!", but that one word/guttural noise enough to make him a part of pop culture history.
Steve Holt in "Arrested Development"
Another (kind of) bad guy who made his name into a catchphrase.
Jean-Claude Van Damme in...Well, Anything he Did
We love his movies, even though they didn't call him "The Muscle from Brussels" because of his fine work in West End productions of Ibsen and Shakespeare.
Biff Tannen in "Back to the Future"
Source: Universal Pictures
Probably one of the best, most beloved bad guys of all time. The real shame of the third installment of the franchise (which personally I think is still underrated) is Biff's non-involvement. A shot of Biff rocking a black duster and yelling "hands in the sky, McFly" would have made this one a solid entry in AFI's list of the Top 100 Greatest Movies of All Time.
Bluto From "Popeye"
While not trim like Popeye, arch-nemesis Bluto was all brawn and strength. And as bad as he was, at least he didn't resort to using performance-enhancing spinach.
Mongo in "Blazing Saddles"
Source: Warner Bros.
Another lovable, nigh unintelligible beast in the vein of Ogre and Kubiak. The actor who portrayed him, Alex Karras, also had a legit tough guy pedigree, playing twelve seasons in the NFL as well as a career in professional wrestling. And he was the Dad on "Webster." Sadly, he passed away last October.
Moose Mason From "Archie"
When it comes to dumb, affable meathead characters, Moose Mason is the archetype. Or should that be the ARCHIE-type? (See what we did there?)
Slater From "Saved By the Bell"
This guy who had a love/hate relationship with…well, nearly everybody. At first he was sort of that gang's Reggie (another Archie reference), but eventually became just another part of the group, even though he still acted exactly the same and was kind of a jerk. What a weird show this was.
Any meatheads you think we missed? Let us know in the comments!
In the meantime, check out the redband trailer for "Pain & Gain," in theaters this weekend:
no pain no gain, dwayne johnson, michael bay, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, mark wahlberg