Completely Objective Poll Confirms that British People Are Ugly

July 8, 2010

Were you one of the millions of people who watched the World Cup and wondered “Now that Ronaldinho got cut from the Brazilian team, who's the least attractive human being playing in the tournament?” Fear not, questionably heterosexual soccer fan, a new poll has answered this question by naming the ugliest participant at the 2010 games. (Spoiler Alert: He’s British.)

Wayne Rooney, whom scientists claim was repeatedly beaten with the ugly stick as a young child, nabbed the honor from thanks to his unfortunately shaped head, soulless eyes, and lifelong commitment to poor dental hygiene.
Over 200,000 people voted in the contest, with Rooney receiving a hefty portion of the total tallies.

Wait, seriously?

Not only did this guy completely choke on the world’s biggest stage, but he returned home (goalless) to find out that nearly a quarter of a million people took time out of their day to express how ugly they found him?

For a non-contact sport, soccer is sort of a rough game.

Photo: Carl De Souza/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images