The Top 10 Super Expensive Versions of Everyday Food
5. $762 Bottle of Beer
Beer. We love you. You give so so much and ask so so little in return. We could make some jokes here or give a little history, but frankly, we're a little choked up. Beer is great and you'd gladly pay any price for a bottle. Although it is pretty cool that you can grab a case for next nothing, too. But what if you really want to show the world that your love for the frosty hops knows no limitations? If you're ready to take your adoration of suds to the next level, then it's time for a big bottle of End of History beer. Unfortunately, it's going to cost you. End of History may be the world's strongest beer at 55% alcohol, but it's also the world's most expensive. One bottle costs $762. But BrewDog, the guys who make it, aren't trying to soak you. For that kind of cash, they're willing to throw in a few extras. Unfortunately, they apparently hired Uncle Fester to run their promotions department and all they could come up with was a guarantee that every bottle is packed in a genuine stuffed dead animal. Because who doesn't love to have their brew poured from the preserved mouth of a deceased rodent? That's how the rich guys do it! You know what? You can probably achieve that dream by yourself for a lot less than $762.
4. $40 Bottle of Water
It used to be, back in the days when men were men and porno came strictly in magazine form, that water was free. Whenever you wanted a glass of cold, crisp water, the only thing you had to do was turn on the tap in your kitchen and voila, there it was. Of course, this being America, someone eventually figured out that if you put that same water in a nice plastic bottle, gave it a snappy name, and advertised it using women in various states of undress, you could convince people to pay for it. Not a lot, mind you, but considerably more than the nothing they were paying before. Once somebody figured out you could charge for water, it wasn't long before someone decided to make an incredibly overpriced version. Bling H2o, the world's most expensive bottled water, goes for $40 a bottle. Right now, you may be asking yourself, how do they get suckers to buy it? The answer is simple; a cool name and half naked girls. Marketed as a product strictly for those who love the finer things in life, Bling H2O is packaged in a silvery bottle that looks more suited to holding some starlet's perfume than the source of all life. So go on, buy yourself a bottle and show the world that you can bling with the best of them. If "bling" means falling for idiotic trends and making other people rich in the process.
3. $22 Loaf of Bread
Source: Dan Kenyon/Taxi/Getty Images
As previously mentioned, sandwiches are awesome. And while it may be that the middle gets all the glory, they would be nothing if it wasn't for the two slices of baked goodness that keep the whole thing together. But bread isn't only great for soaking up mustard and mayonnaise. It also goes great with soups, sauces, and anything else that's savory and wet. And it's cheap. Since human beings first learned that they didn't have to just eat whatever they found lying around and could actually make their own food, bread has been a low cost staple that anyone and everyone can afford. Unless you're rich. Then it's just one more thing you can waste your money on. To help all those poor richies get rid of some extra cash, Harrods, the swankiest supermarket in Britain, offers a loaf of premium bread for $22. It's made from top flight ingredients and probably tastes great, but at ten times the cost of a standard loaf, it's a little pricey for something that even medieval peasants took for granted.
2. $1,640 Chocolate Bar
Source: Ferdaus Shamim/WireImage/Getty Images
They may not be healthy, they may make you fat, and they may be crammed full of enough sugar to give an entire class of third graders a wicked case of ADD, but man, oh man are chocolate bars delicious. Wonderful little bricks of sweet chocolate, caramel, and nuts, they are the most fun substance you can ingest without breaking the law. And since they usually cost about a buck a bar, you can scarf down as many as you like and rest comfortably knowing you'll never have to turn to a life of prostitution to support the habit. Unless you get a taste for Cadbury's special Wispa Gold. The normal version is your standard reasonably priced candy bar, but to commemorate its return to mass production after being briefly discontinued, maker Cadbury released a special gold-coated version that sold for $1,640. Designed to be literally "worth its weight in gold," the special edition Whispa Gold is so fancy even the wrapper is made out of gold. Chocolate bars are awesome, no doubt, but if you ever find yourself in a position where you're willing to drop $1,640 to get one, it may be time to admit you have a problem.
1. $95 Bowl of Macaroni and Cheese
Mac and cheese. Just the sound of those three words conjures up images of cheap eating at its finest. Sure, in the hands of an accomplished chef like your mom, macaroni and cheese can be a hearty, nutritious meal that exemplifies everything that's good and wholesome in American home cooking. But for most of us, it represents something that comes in a box, costs less than dirt, and is dead easy to make regardless of how drunk you are when you get a craving. The instant macaroni and cheese mix is the backbone of any bachelor's diet. Only instant ramen rivals it for boiled value. Not content to let it remain so, the snooty chefs of a fancy Los Angeles restaurant called Melisse weren't satisfied with the dayglo orange status quo of cheap mac and cheese and decided to offer a plate of their own. But since they own a French restaurant, their mac and cheese has truffles, parmesan cheese, and some kind of fancy-type macaroni called "tagliatelle" and it costs $95. We hate to use math to prove anything, but with that much money, you could buy enough cheap mac and cheese to eat like a very poor king for at least 95 nights. The choice seems pretty obvious.