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The Top 10 Sexiest Female Athletes in the Winter Olympics

by davidbreitman   February 18, 2010 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 5,317

Thanks to a variety of sports with the mass appeal of a John Madden pilates workout video and NBC's continued dedication to tape delayed coverage, the 2010 Winter Olympics have become an afterthought in the minds of people who live in places both boring and cold enough to care about them. It's going to take something truly special to spice up the 21st Olympiad and make us take notice. Perhaps something in a D-Cup with tight abs and presumed athletic ability?

Photo: Janek Skarzynski/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images


10. Claudia Toth, Curling (Austria)


Photo: Ballhype.com

Like most female athletes not associated with the WNBA or the North Dakota State “girls” wrestling team, when Toth isn’t honing her athletic craft or collecting 11th place participation ribbons, she enjoys balancing celebrity boyfriends, turning down offers to appear in German Playboy, and giving curling their first legitimate sex icon since Russ Howard retired his bonspiel banana hammock in the late 1980s after Wayne Middaugh accused him of  picking up Sean Avery’s sloppy seconds during the Canadian Brier.

While Toth herself is regarded as the Tony Romo of the curling world (mediocre ability and willing to go slumming with Jessica Simpson after enough alcohol), she has become one of the sport’s top ambassadors. In 2005, Toth posed nude in a “Women of Curling Calendar” to help raise money for the sport and give teenage boys throughout Eastern Europe something to pleasure themselves to between Baywatch reruns and Jesper Parnevik highlights.


9. Lindsey Vonn, Downhill Skiing (U.S.A)


Photo: Doug Pensinger/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

In order to prepare for the 2010 Olympic Games, Vonn used the patented “pose in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue half-naked” technique (not to be confused with the Mark Sanchez “pose as a Baywatch lifeguard in GQ” strategy that eventually backfired). With her caboose proudly directed toward the heavens that clearly sculpted it, Vonn assumed the position and smiled for the cameras that eventually placed her in the iconic publication.

Think “being hot” is a poor training technique? Think again! Despite suffering a serious shin injury before the Olympics, Vonn won a gold medal in her first event of the Games and is the favorite to win several more before the closing ceremonies.


8. Allison Baver, Short Track Speed Skating (U.S.A.)


Photo: Perry Hoguplan/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Sure, Allison Baver has yet to win a medal in any of the three Olympic Games she’s participated in, but much like a fat kid struggling to climb a rope in gym class or the 2009 Kansas City Royals – she’s trying really hard. As a strict student of the Alex Rodriguez training regimen, Baver adheres to a steady diet of hard work, provocative modeling shoots, and refusal to give up (unless things get difficult).

7. Chemmy Alcott, Alpine Skiing (Great Britain)


Photo: house-productions.com

Outside of flexible drinking laws and a complete abandonment of oral hygiene norms, perhaps the best thing going on in jolly old England these days is alpine skier Chemmy Alcott and her award-winning ass (assuming you count “Olympian that my one-armed neighbor wants to nail in his windowless van” as a legitimate award.) Alcott is a five-time senior British skiing champion and three time Olympian also looking for her first Olympic medal in the 2010 games. Let’s hope the I.O.C. eliminated the aesthetic pity category that has presumably helped Alcott’s competitors in previous competition.


6. Noelle Pikus-Pace, Skeleton (U.S.A.)


Photo: Doug Pensinger/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

After spending the 2007-2008 season on the injured reserve with a mild case of “pregnancy,” Pikus-Pace has recovered nicely and is primed for a great showing in a fictional-sounding event called “Skeleton.” Pikus-Pace has already announced that the Vancouver Games will likely be her last, as she is ready to focus on other pursuits like “staying hot during middle age” and “questioning why the Oakland Raiders signed their kicker to a $16 million contract extension.”


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