If you really only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials, and you really only watch the commercials for the hot ones, then don't even bother leaving Spike.com. We've distilled the sexy right out of the commercials and poured it into an hourglass-shaped top ten list just for you.
The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.
10. Levi's Jeans Going On and Coming Off
Levi’s knows exactly what is most important about women’s jeans: the ability to quickly and sexily remove them. Or, alternately, how good they look bunched up on the floor around their ankles. This commercial proves in a scientific study (with a rockin’ soundtrack) that they’ve accomplished these ends.
9. Britney's Retro Pepsi Ad
Sexy for those of us who like a little kitsch with our dishes, the retro Britney ad appeals to the older, refined grandpa in all of us that was born in 1920 and doesn’t want anything to do with the glittery, hip-hugging sexiness that the kids seem to be into these days. That being said, that type of sexiness is a little further down the list.
8. Jessica Simpson for Pizza Hut
Holy hell. I think this video pretty accurately illustrates exactly what would happen if Jessica Simpson came out of the back door of my local Pizza Hut asking about things popping in people’s mouths.
7. The Go Daddy Girl Pops Out
There is just too much sexy in this particular commercial to be contained in a single, flimsy tank top. It'd be like trying to fit the whole of the Rocky Mountains into your back yard. Would that we could, but it's probably going to spill out.
6. Victoria's Secret is in the Mood for Love
Wishing all the husbands and boyfriends out there a Happy Valentine's Day by putting models before their eyes handling footballs and clad in lacy underthings is just Victoria's Secret's clever way to get us into their store to buy our special ladies those same underthings. You win, Victoria's Secret. Checkmate.
5. Beach Volleyball in the Snow for the Olympics
You know what happens girls put on bikinis and play volleyball in the snow? A camera crew shows up and they film the hell out of it. That is science fact. Don’t believe me? Watch this commercial for Visa which was filmed, believe it or not, completely guerilla-style.
4. Tabasco is So Hot it Gives You Tan Lines
Tabasco is so hot that it makes hot girls hotter. That’s the premise of this commercial and it’s a premise that I firmly support. Also: cocktail shrimp are delicious. This commercial is nearing perfection.
3. Britney's Non-Retro Pepsi Ad
Here’s that non-retro ad I was talking about before. This is the Britney that the grandpa in us shuns for shameless exposure of midriff. However, her shameless exposure of midriff makes the non-grandpa in us squeal with delight.
2. Catfight Over Miller Light
This is a classic. It spawned many spoofs and has kicked and punched its way into a very soggy position in the pantheon of sexy Super Bowl commercials. Two very comely girls get into a soaking wet slap fight over what the best thing about beer is. Maybe if you could somehow put Lance Armstrong riding a bear in this, it could be better, but I doubt it.
1. Ali Landry as Sexy Doritos Girl
My personal favorite. Ali Landry is ridiculous. Doritos are the bomb. She turns on the fire sprinklers with her fiery-yet-sassy schoolmarm charm...and then the coupe de grace when she pokes her perfectly symmetrical face back in to get all the boys soaking wet. Epic win.