Australians Party, Vandalize Hotel Rooms Like Rock Stars

October 15, 2010

In order to properly celebrate a successful showing at the Commonwealth games, various members of the team from down under decided to hurl a large washing machine out of an eighth story window in the athlete’s village. Somewhere, Tommy Lee is standing in a free clinic giving them a round of applause.

Many pundits believe that the incident came at the hands of the country’s cricket team, who felt that the dishwasher wouldn’t quite have the “wow factor” of a large clothes cleaning appliance. Luckily, an Aussie spokesman was readily available to deny his countrymen were responsible.

"We don't know who did that," Australian chef de mission Perry Crosswhite told reporters. "Delhi police came around and they've done a report and an investigation and we'll hear about that."

Yes, it’s a real mystery which nation is responsible for what happened in the Australian quarters. Perhaps the Ugandans broke in, drank the Fosters and trashed the hotel room in order to sully the good name of Aussie sport. Either that, or those dirty Canadians are somehow behind this.

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