Performance-Enhancing Drug Scandal Shocks Swedish Wheelchair Curling

March 22, 2010

Fans of both curling and disabled Swedish people lost a hero this weekend when news of a doping scandal in the Paralympics broke early Saturday morning.

Glen Ikonen, who has overcome tremendous adversity through hard work and determination, received a two-year ban from competitive play for using a beta blocker to help curb his high blood pressure.

Yes, the Paralympics- filled with people who have battled severe disabilities their entire lives - is punishing a somewhat elderly man for using heart medication.

“I am shocked. I couldn't imagine this. I am an old man. I'm 54 years old. I would never take anything I can't take," Ikonen said via a statement released by

Ikonen will not be allowed to continue competing, though he is appealing the decision – a process which NBC plans to show on a seven-hour tape delay.

No comment has been issued by the Paralympics or Olympic committees, as they were presumably too busy high-fiving each other about the excellent job they did stealing candy from defenseless children over the weekend.

Photo: Martin Rose/Bongarts/Getty Images