Cleveland Browns Fan Beats Valuable Lesson into Eight-Year-Old Boy

November 17, 2010

It’s never too early to teach children the value of good sportsmanship and respectful fanhood. In Cleveland, these lessons are often taught in the stadium parking lot with brute force and relentless mockery.

Following the New York Jets' road win over the Browns on Sunday, a young boy and his father celebrated a little more than people (who still send LeBron James daily death threats) were comfortable with. So, like any group of heavily intoxicated geniuses, they let the child know that his actions were less than appropriate.

ESPN caught up with the kid’s mother, who was less than happy:

[Fans] called him a bad word, to my husband and to my son, throwing food at them. As [my husband] was walking, holding my son's hand, a guy from behind tackled him. A drunken Browns fan tackled him and pulled him out of his dad's hand. He was on the ground crying," Danielle said, according to the station.

Usually this is where I’d insert a joke about somebody on the Browns finally being able to tackle a Jets player, but that’s probably the wrong thing to do. The Viacom legal department – who seemed shocked that I had to ask – informed me that assaulting small children is illegal, regardless of which team they are cheering for.

 Photo: Joe Robbins/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images