The 7 Worst Albums By Awesome Bands

October 13, 2008

Getting a lemon of a record from your favorite band may be one of the worst things to happen to a music fan. How do bands with so much talent and skill produce such bad material? I could never understand how (or why) they would let these duds get out the door. Do these people just lose their minds and become tasteless musicians?


7. Weezer – The Green Album

In my opinion, Weezer’s The Blue Album and Pinkerton are two if the best albums of the ‘90s. So when The Green Album was released in 2001 you could imagine my anticipation.

What would Rivers Cuomo have in store for us now? Was it possible to top Pinkerton? Who knew I was about to blindly purchase some pop commercial crap and place it in my poor, unassuming CD player.

Even though “Hash Pipe” and “Island in the Sun” are good pop songs, this record sounds like a bunch of dumb college kids trying to imitate Weezer. It lacks the imagination, intelligence and dry wit of their first two classic LPs. This album was truly a sign of things to come.

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6. Santana – Supernatural

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Santana must have needed a paycheck and a Grammy in the worst way. I still find it really hard to believe that he decided to slut himself out in 1999 by making a crappy star-studded duets album. Not only does he recycle the same freakin’ solo on every track, he also somehow did a song with Dave Matthews and Rob Thomas without killing himself in the process. This guy really is supernatural!

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5. Michael Jackson – HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book I

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I find it funny that Jacko released a two-disc album just to feature his greatest hits. As if the entire free world didn’t already own every one of his albums.

MJ’s second side of new tracks featured a slew of bloated pop numbers that truly showed the rapidly declining talent of the King of Pop. “Scream” might have been the only redeeming track on the album, but there really wasn’t a single track that was anywhere near the Off The Wall and Thriller caliber.

Oh, and creating a dictatorial statue of yourself has to be one of the most narcissistic acts of all time. Nice chin, though.

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4. Pink Floyd - The Final Cut

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I love Floyd, but this album is a pile of crap.

Final Cut was the last Pink Floyd studio album to feature primary songwriter and bass player Roger Waters. Final Cut was also the only Pink Floyd album on which the composers' credit on every track was given only to Waters, with no songwriting credits given to any other member of the band. Obsessed much?

In my opinion, this album was just plain depressing. It’s grim, dark and altogether too tight. Waters really needed to enter a psycho ward instead of a recording studio. His self-analysis approach definitely worked on The Wall but not on this one. Diamond in the rough, my ass.

 

3. Radiohead – Pablo Honey

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Back in 1993, this album could have been done by anybody. “Creep” was said to be a one-hit wonder and most critics wrote this off as just another grunge/alternative record. Stupid critics.

But let’s get real here. The record doesn't really foreshadow the future greatness of the band and is pretty bland in its entirety. If you really think this is a great record, you’re just drunk. Why do you think Radiohead never plays these songs live anymore? It’s because they’re dated and immature.  How can you take an album seriously when it was named after a Jerky Boys prank call skit in which the prank caller says, "Pablo, honey? Please come to Florida!" Real deep, fellas.

For all intents and purposes, The Bends was Radiohead's true debut. Deal with it.

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2. Guns N' Roses - The Spaghetti Incident?

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Talk about a letdown. When this album dropped in 1993, I thought the world was about to explode.

Why on earth would Axl decide to do an entire record of cover versions of punk and glam rock songs of the late 1970s and early 1980s? My guess is pure laziness and having a huge ego. Johnny Thunders must have been rolling in his grave when this came out.

Some people may enjoy this album, but the truth is it’s totally subpar for a GNR record. The nonmusical sounds in the album truly reflect the band's agonizing last moments. If want to hear a band breaking up, please go listen to The Spaghetti Incident?.

 

1. Metallica – Load

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Released approximately five years after The Black Album, Load saw Metallica diss their thrash metal roots and embrace a collective sound and identity closer to pop heavy metal. Sigh.

Even though I wasn’t the biggest fan of Metallica’s self-titled hit record, I could honestly understand why it was so popular and was happy for the band’s success. Watching "Enter Sandman" being played live at the Grammy Awards was a pretty freakin’ awesome sight to see.

When I first bought this record, I listened to it day in and day out trying to convince myself it was another classic Metallica record. Needless to say, I was not convinced.

I remember first watching the video for "Until It Sleeps" and thought it was a practical joke. Really. The horrible haircuts and bad acting made me want to shoot myself right then and there. For a band that didn’t make a music video until their fourth record, they sure seemed to like the camera a lot.

If anyone out their thinks that this was the band maturing, you need stop listening to metal right now and go pick up the new James Blunt CD.

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Honorable Mentions: Miles Davis - Doo Bop, The Beach Boys - Still Cruisin, The Clash - Cut the Crap, Red Hot Chili Peppers - One Hot Minute, Bob Dylan, - Down In the Groove, Rolling Stones - Dirty Work, Nas - I Am…, R.E.M. – Monster, Pearl Jam – Vitalogy, The Notorious B.I.G. – Born Again

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