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The Top 10 Worst Types of Fanboys

by Reverend_Danger   February 26, 2009 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 21,910

5. Sony Defense Force


Source: Sony Defense Force

As the PlayStation 3 struggles to find its footing, it's hard to feel sorry for the angry, bitter Sony Defense Force. They sat at the top of the mountain for 10 long years, and now they're having a hard time losing with dignity. Instead of accepting that the PS3 is overpriced and its software library not worth the extra cash, they accuse the world of conspiring against them. According to them, every last person that reviews video games is either an idiot or bought-off by Microsoft. If only they could look at themselves with the same critical eye.

Forum Battle Cry: They R teh BIAS!

4. iPhone Fanboy


Source: FilmMagic/Getty Images

The iPhone – it accounts for the largest market share of any single phone, and I just hate the people that can’t resist shoving that, and their stupid Where to Find Baby Powder for my Delicate Hiney application in my face. I get it.  It’s a very pretty phone.  It’s very sleek.  I don’t care.  The Nokia E70 calls people, too.  It also has a better browser and a better keyboard and isn’t for namby pamby fanboys. 

Forum Battle Cry: I have an app for that!

3. WoW Fanboy


Source: AFP/Getty Images

It's hard to hate the WoW fanboy too much because you never interact with them. He's atleast as much of a danger to himself as he is to us.  He sits in his basement for as long as it takes to assert himself as the pinnacle of virtual achievement. Talking to a World of Warcraft maniac is like speaking to an alien, and about as interesting as hearing a beat story from a poker addict. What places them so high on this list is that if you ask them what's so great about the game, they can't come up with a single thing. Oh, and then there's spending real money to buy virtual money. 

Forum Battle Cry: Lerooooooy Jenkins!

2. PC Snob

The PC Snob is the diametric opposite of (and a response to) the Mac fanboy. They didn't even know that they were PC fanboys until the Mac creeps decided to make a big deal out of it. Now they spend most of their time talking about all the free programs and shareware you can only get on a personal computer, or how real-time strategy games and first-person shooters should only be played with a mouse and keyboard. Most of their time isn’t spent raising the PC up on a pedestal – it’s pretty much market saturated. Rather, their forum time is spent comparing and contrasting PCs with their mortal enemies, the Macs.  Generally this is accomplished with a heavy-handed flame war.

Forum Battle Cry: Kombatibility is King

1. Mac Fanboys


Source: Plencer Platt/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Ugh.  Mac fanboys are the worst of the worst. I mean I hate iPhonephiles, but the Mac fanboy encompasses them and takes the dogma to a whole new, awful level.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against Apple.  I like their design aesthetic, and their devices work well, but just cause I eat at Burger King doesn’t mean I don’t want to get a Frostee from Wendy’s every now and again. Mac fanboys foolishly believe that any art-related program runs better on their machine and that they will never get a virus. At least they're willing to play a video game console every once in a while. They don't really have a choice since there aren't many games for Macs. Maybe it’s the cult of soon-to-be-martyred Steve Jobs, but something is causing this clique to be the most grating on the interwebz. . 

Forum Battle Cry: I’m a Mac (uttered dismissively with a raised eyebrow)