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The Top 10 Celebrities That Look Like Random Objects

by dsussman   May 28, 2010 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 5,411

5. Andy Rooney – Melting Nacho Cheese

Source: CBS NEWS

Andy Rooney is old. Andy Rooney is really old. He’s so old that every week on 60 Minutes it looks like his face is gradually melting off his skull like warm nacho cheese from 7 Eleven. Even the skin under his eyeballs are hanging on for dear life. I don’t mean to make fun of the guy, but calling it quits might not be the worst of ideas. Comparing him to a Shar-Pei puppy might have been the first logical choice, but they are really cute and Mr. Rooney is most definitely not.

4. Donatella Versace – Fried Chicken

Source: Dimitrios Kambouris/VF1

Oil, heat, and a dash of plastic surgery make up the ingredients that have helped Donatella Versace acquire her lovely, youthful glow. The same goes for fried mutherf***in’ chicken. The only difference here is that Donatella did this on purpose and the chicken really had no choice. Oh yeah, the fried chicken is also extremely delicious while on the other hand, Donatella is a crusty greaseball few want to nibble on.  Man, am I hungry now. Double Down, anyone?

3. Amy Winehouse – Filled Ashtray

Photo: Dave Hogan/Getty Images

Whenever I look at a picture of Amy Winehouse I can literally smell the booze and cigarette butts through the photo. I know that there’s no aroma coming from the image in actuality, but Amy really doesn’t leave anything to the imagination. First off, I don’t think that I’ve ever seen her without a cigarette. It’s like they’re surgically attached to her freakin’ hand. It also looks like she rarely steps into the shower for a quick rinse. She literally has a tar film all over her body and it seems to ooze out of her with every step. The woman is a walking ashtray. I wonder if she’s ever tried to smoke her own finger?


2. Phil Spector – Chia Pet

Photo: AFP/Getty Images

There have been a ton of Chia Pet options to hit the market over the years and they never cease to amaze the brain. Did you know that there are Chia puppies, kittens, and rams? S***, they even have a Chia Scooby Doo. What does this all mean? It means there’s a Chia Pet for every single ridiculous hairstyle Phil Spector ever had during his murder trial. He looked like a damn Chia Pet with a suit on. The only difference between Spector and the animal-shaped terracotta figurine is that a Chia Pet never pulled a gun on Dee Dee Ramone. I’m still trying to find out if a Chia Pet ever shot anyone in the face. I’ll get back to y’all on that one.


1. Michael Jackson - Mr. Potato Head

Photo: Hasbro/Pool/Pool

Michael Jackson is Mr. Potato Head. We all saw MJ grow up right in front of our very eyes and it seemed that every time we turned around, the King of Pop had been to the doctor for yet another operation that completely changed his appearance. Enter Mr. Potato Head. By the mid-‘90s it seemed like Michael was literally going into the operating room and had the doctor just pop off his old nose and plug a new one back in with the flick of a wrist. Now I know that MJ has passed on and it may seem like a very mean thing to compare him to a plastic children’s toy, but I’m talking about Michael Jackson the character and not the person. The character had become public domain, people.



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