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The Top Seven Celebrities Most Likely to Commit Murder

by dsussman   June 05, 2009 at 6:12AM  |  Views: 1,786

After someone like Phil Spector tragically offs a cocktail waitress, we all ask how something like this could have happened. Then we start piecing certain events and odd behavior together and realize that it was inevitable. If you just open your eyes a little wider and pay attention to the details, you might be seeing the obvious demonic intentions of any celebrity or star.

7. Carrot Top


Source: Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Have you seen this guy in the last few years? He looks like a giant orange balloon stuffed with dirty socks. He’s like Bizarro Carrot Top.

It’s pretty damn likely that Carrot Top has been taking some sort of steroids and getting weird facial cosmetic surgery. Who does he think he’s fooling? The Vegas life has no doubt taken a big toll on the man, and his crappy, possibly coked-up act seems to be like a freaky image of things to come. I have always been a huge fan of Bill Hicks, and the fact that Carrot Top won the Comedian of the Year award shortly after Bill’s death has always made me believe that he would crash and burn at some point during his joke of a career.

How it might go down: Las Vegas. Luxor penthouse. Coke, hookers, and a serious case of roid rage. Weird stage props will be in full effect as well. I see Mr. Top finally letting the mixture of his extremely hyper personality and a taste for human growth hormones get the best of him. Trashy prostitutes beware!

6. Nadya "Octomom" Suleman


Source: Jason Mitchell/Getty Images

This woman is so crazy it’s stupid. When super-attorney Gloria Allred was quoted as saying that, "it appeared that Nadya treated her babies as props ... as part of a TV set for those filming her," I could see right then that this woman was seriously sick. Her internal issues and need for love and attention run deeper than anyone can imagine. Even her former publicist, Victor Munoz, stated, “Nadya got real greedy. This woman is nuts.” She’s obviously mentally ill and on a path that will most likely end in a morbid scene.

How it might go down: When Octomom runs out of tricks to get attention I can see her taking more drastic measures to get the media back on her doorstep. Crazy at it may sound, I wouldn’t be surprised if Nadya tragically took the lives of herself and her children all in one fell swoop with a big pitcher of "special" Kool-Aid. It's really sad if you think about it.

5. Andy Dick


Source: Jason LaVeris/Getty Images

Andy Dick is the classic case of a celebrity who just might murder someone and it wouldn't even surprise anyone in the slightest. With all the crazy drunken escapades this guy has been involved in, it’s only a matter of time before he slips up and kills a random boy toy during some kind of kinky S&M session or drunk driving accident.

We all need to understand that we are talking about a man who drunkenly walked up to Jon Lovitz and said, “I put the ‘Phil Hartman hex’ on you - you're the next one to die.” That’s just plain f***ed up.

How it might go down: I see Andy on vacation drinking lots of booze, taking handfuls of pills, and playing around with one too many escorts. These dangerous elements might eventually create a dark bedroom scene that has an untimely death in its future. I also see Andy fleeing the scene and possibly taking his own life after the fact. This guy is far too much of a punk to man up and take responsibility for any wrongdoing.

4. Amy Winehouse


Source: Jo Hale/Getty Images

Do I really have to explain this pick? Amy has been on a rollercoaster ride towards disaster for quite a while and it seems pretty apparent that the only way she is going to stop her idiotic ways is by hurting someone besides herself. Meth is the worst drug on planet earth and from numerous reports it seems obvious that Wino has had a serious relationship with the psychostimulant/sympathomimetic drug for far too long.

How it might go down: I predict Amy will pull a Sid & Nancy-type murder. Like Sid, I can envision Amy locked up in a hotel room on a major drugged stupor with a random pal going in and out of reality due to booze, meds, meth, and isolation. It’s well known that meth can cause amphetamine psychosis which leads to delusions, hallucinations, and thought disorder. All of these elements could possibly see Amy take a life without even knowing it.