The Top 10 Worst Music Videos Of 2008

December 31, 2008

After many years of watching music videos, I have come to the conclusion that it takes an extraordinary type of human being to put together a complete piece of garbage. You have to have a total lack of taste, creativity and talent to pull this type of thing of. It’s not an easy task to piss off the entire human race while not having the faintest idea what you were doing.

By Dustin Sussman

The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.

 

10. "A Milli" By Lil Wayne

This is definitely one of the biggest and best tracks of the year, but the video is just plain asinine. Do I really want to watch Lil Wayne piss in a trailer Porta-John and walk around shirtless drinking his mystery Sizzurp concoction all in the same sitting? F*** no! This dude is supposed to be some badass rapper, not eating red vines from craft services.

Step yo game up, Weezy.

 

9. “Overdosin” By Heidi Montag


Can’t these people just go away? I find it unbelievable that anybody took this song serious enough to even shoot a video for it.

Heidi does look pretty hot in some tight ‘80s spandex, but her crappy singing voice and lack of charisma makes this video four minutes and four seconds of FAIL. A sex tape would have done the trick just fine if Montag wanted to enhance her fame, not a half-assed attempt at a singing career. Who does she think think she’s fooling?

 

8. "Summertime" By The New Kids On The Block



I feel a little bad doing this to the boys from Boston, but when I first saw this video I thought it had to be a joke. Seeing middle-aged boy-banders try to sing a watered-down R&B track to some slutty beach babes was a pretty big letdown. I guess 40-year-old housewives need a little fantasy in their lives.

And since when did Donnie become the leader of the group?

 

7. "When You Look Me In The Eyes" By The Jonas Brothers

"When You Look Me In The Eyes" is basically a complete replica of every single hair metal ballad music video ever made. The only difference here is that these dudes get no action, do shots of Juicy Juice instead of Jack Daniels and can’t write a decent song to save their lives. Watching rich suburban teenagers lose their sh*t makes me want to cut my testicles off so I can stop myself from bringing more children into this cruel, cruel world.

I’ll take “Home Sweet Home” over this crap any day of the week. I can't believe I just said that.

 

6. "When I Grow Up" By The Pussycat Dolls

The video for “When I Grow Up” is pretty much the Cliff Notes for any young lady out there trying to become an up-and-coming stripper.  As if little girls around the world didn’t need another reason to become a trashy slut.

I just want to know who came up with the concept for this video. For some odd reason, some random douchebag out there thought it would be a good idea for these modern-day pop prostitutes to break into song during a Los Angeles traffic jam and bust out some dance numbers on a glitzy construction site.

5. "Shine On Me" by Chris Dane Owens

At this point, I can’t tell if this video blows or if it’s the most awesome thing since macaroni and cheese. Either way, the video for “Shine On Me” is in a class all by itself.

If Chris Dane Owens was a prominent artist in the ‘80s the guy would have been a megastar. Unfortunately for him, he’s trying to pull off cheesy techno dance-rock in the wrong freakin’ century. There is not a human being alive today that could hold their sh*t together while watching Chris spit his ridiculous Roland Orzabal-like vocals around medieval made-for-TV-movie visuals. The cheesiness of this video far exceeds anything I have ever seen in my entire life. Congrats, Chris!

The wackiest part of the video has to be when the prince rips his shirt open to expose a giant flash of blinding man-light.


4. "Monsoon" By Tokio Hotel

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First off, this is the worst f***ing band of 2008. If I caught my kids watching this video I would lock them in the closet and force them to listen to Slayer’s Reign In Blood on repeat until they came to their senses.

Seeing these horrible German poppers do one of their unbearable pop/rock numbers during a wacky wet thunder storm should be added as a new torture technique at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay. I absolutely guarantee this will get a terrorist to squeal. Puke.

 

3. "Yahhh!" By Soulja Boy

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It is very hard to describe the ultimate stupidity of this song and video. Even if I locked myself in a basement for an unlimited amount of time there is no way on earth that I could come up with something as mind-numbing as “Yahhh!”

I would rather let a midget punch me in the balls with some brass knuckles than watch this so-called southern star spit another one-dimensional gimmick rap while yelling at his annoying fans. F** this kid. Somehow this dude went ahead and made a more annoying song/video than “Crank That” all in one fell swoop. What a fool.

 

2. “7 Things” By Miley Cyrus

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May the parents of America be slain in a town square for allowing their children to dedicate themselves to this talentless Disney waste. I had no idea a pop star could be more irritating than Britney Spears, but somehow the balls of Billy Ray created one of the most annoying human beings on the face of the earth.

Watching Miley and her crew of spoiled drama queens bitch about their not-so-perfect boyfriends is utterly nauseating. What the f*** are these 14-year-old girls doing with boyfriends to begin with and why in the hell are they crying? They have nothing to be sad about. I would give anything in this world to see these Disney darlings spend a few days in Fallujah just trying to survive.

 

1. "Freaxxx" By Brokencyde

Screamo + Crunk = The End Of Civilization

If I needed a song to push me into suicide, this would do the trick with no problem at all. This is the exact reason why Hot Topic-wearing little brats without a spec of musical taste or skill should not be allowed to purchase any type of audio/visual computer software. I hate this video so much that I am truly having difficulties expressing my inner rage with actual words.

Not only is this the worst music video of 2008, it is also the worst song.
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