Deadliest Warrior: Season 3 Idea- Egyptian vs. Inca

July 31, 2010

Now I highly doubt that many people will read this, but I want to get some ideas down.

Theoretical Battles

Egyptian vs. Incans

The Egyptians had a great way of waging war, as shown by the history books. The Egyptians would have been a good matchup for the Centurions, as we could've seen chariot on chariot action. Not that kind. The Egyptians have a cool curved sword called the khepesh. It looked like this.

Note the design of the sword being similar to the kilij, which was awesome. They also had their bow and arrow as a long range weapon. What seperates this bow and arrow from other bows and arrows, I will never know.

Then, the Egyptians had an axe. The following is a picture of what it didn't really look like historically, but props for the badass design.

In reality, the battle axe looked more like this...

Egyptian Axe

This one was made of solid brass. Finally, there's the mace.

One thing I'd like to see as a special weapon though. I'm quite sure that the crook was not used as a weapon, but the flail was, so it would be awesome for the Egyptian to weild the crook and flail. The crook could grab the opponents weapon, and the Egyptian would then strike with the flail. It's ingenious! Of course, in terms of damage, I'd go for the mace.

File:Crook and flail.svg

The Egyptians had very little armour, although they did have a shield. It was either round and smaller, or rectangular and larger.

They were made from ox hide and could repel arrows.

Then, there are the Inca. The ancient warrior that lived up in the mountain, and defended itself ferociously. Now, first weapon, and it's already looking cool. Their long range/special weapon? Fearsome weapons called the boleadoras. Think Morning Star flail, only blunt, three times the range, and triple the balls.

They also had the macana. Kind of like a mace, but with a gear on top.

See full size image




There was also great emphasis put on the slings/slingshot that the Incas used. They would keep enemies at bay with it, and well, you should know what a sling looks like.

Finally, we come to the bronze knives, which Incas would brandish to battle. Their short range weapon lacks in that it is not as modern as other knives of the time.

 See full size image

But what about armour? Our very good friend Wikipedia tells us that the armor that the Incas used included:

  • "Helmets made of wood, copper, bronze, cane, or animal skin; some were adorned with feathers
  • Round or square shields made from wood or hide
  • Cloth tunics padded with cotton and small wooden planks to protect the spine"
  • So there 'ya have it.

    X Factors

    Now, seeing these, the match can go either way. Either one will completely dominate, or it will be a very close match. Which is where I introduce training. The Incas brought some brutal preperation to the game. The following is from

    "During the inca education of a man, the military service was obligatory, it begun when the boy became 16 years old and it last from three to four years of heavy training; They were train in the use of all inca weapons, but at the end each soldier must choose one weapon specialty; The young men that show special skills, were chosen to continue their training for several more years, it was an honor to be chosen, because this young men will become the future officers of the inca armies.

    It is important to remark that during the officers military service, the future officers were train in tactics attacks, ambush, survival skills, resistance to cold environments and rare trainings to make them do not be afraid against weapons; In some occasions, the inca trainers put a sharp knife close to the trainee eyes and if he move one muscle, the trainee was kick out of the military school, it was a severe merciless training.

    The deep training in all inca weapons provide by the military officers to the trainees, was observe by their families, it was common that the parents encourage their sons to carry on fighting with phrases like, “better die trying, than surrender during the fight”; The generalize madness for honor and no surrender some times end up with the dead of some trainees."

    Damn. But I digress. Let's see what the Egyptians are bringing to the game. Well, there's a whole documentary up Youtube up about their military sucess. 'Nuff said.


    Egyptian vs. Inca


     The tussle begins in the ruins of an ancient civilsation high up in the mountains. Machu Picchu. The Incan warrior stands guard atop his hill, swinging his boleadoras casually. He sees a figure starting his ascent up the hill. Readying his sling, he places a nice round stone in the pouch and swings away. He sends several more pieces of rock flying in the enemy’s general direction. The hits are on target, but the Egyptian sees the projectiles hurtling towards him and manages to get out of the line of fire.

     The Egyptian realises that he’ll be mauled if he continues going up the hill, so he draws his bow and arrow and fires off at the enemy. The Inca, fortunately, has plenty of rubble to duck under, and is protected. However, when he pokes his head up again, a volley of sticks with points come at him. He again gets to cover, not moving. In the meantime, the Egyptian runs up the hill. The Inca notices this through a slit in the bricks, and takes out his boleadoras now that he is in that range.

     A barrage of blows seems to come from everywhere for the Egyptian warrior. He lifts his oxhide shield in an effort to stop the menace, but the bolas go around the shield, hitting him all the same. Eventually, the Egyptian throws in the towel and runs downhill. He feels a sharp pain come into his back as a rock is forcefully pushed into his spine. The Inca then packs up his sling and ran after the North African warrior.

     Then, they are out in the African savannah. The grasslands are really good at concealing the crouching Nile warrior, but the Central American is cleverer. Standing next to a baobab tree, he turns his back to the Egyptian so that it looks like he is scouting the foe out in the other direction. Then, the Egyptian silently creeps up behind his foe. Suddenly, he is stabbed with the Incan knife. Drawing his curved sword as quickly as he can, the Egyptian slahes up the Inca’s shield to a few strips, then cuts diagonally across his torso, leaving a gash there. The Inca swings his boleadoras around, but the Egyptian cuts through them, and now they are just a few stones and pieces of string on the ground. The Egyptian then readies a battle axe swing. He grazes the opponent’s neck and hits his shoulder bone, which knocks the New World warrior to the ground. He goes for the killing blow while the Inca is down, but the Incan warrior lifts his powerful legs to deliver another hit to the Egyptian’s backside.

     Both are not the types to surrender. They both draw their maces at the exact same moment. The two heavy weapons clash. The Inca then forcefully knocks the stone mace of his foe to the ground. It hits the Incan's feet painfully, but it will hurt later. The Incan warrior breaks a few of the enemy’s bones with his mace. He would’ve left the Egyptian on the ground to die slowly and painfully, but he instead he cracked the Egyptian’s skull with his macana. He then limped away casually, whistling a foreign tune.







    Khepesh- 208




    Egyptian Bow & Arrow-101


    Incan Sling-135


    Battle Axe-59




    Stone Mace-123




    Total Kills-491


    Total Kills-509



    Analysis: It would seem that the Egyptian had the better and more lethal weapons, but the Inca was better trained in warfare. It’s really that simple. It was a close match, but the South Americans finally have the pride of defeating an African warrior.