Alexander the Great vs Vlad the Impaler

October 13, 2010

Beginning Assessment: Macedon's greatest tactician and leader comes to a bloody battle with Wallachian prince that was the deadly fixation on Dracula. Who. Is. DEADLIEST?

Alexander the Great:

Short Range: Kopis Sword.

Medium Range: Xyston Spear.

Long Range: Gastraphetes Crossbow.

Special: Ballista Catapult.

Armor: Brass.

Vlad the Impaler:

Short Range: Kilij Sword.

Medium Range: Halberd.

Long Range: Steel Crossbow.

Special: Hand Cannon.

Armor: Chainmail.


Kopis vs Kilij. Edge = Kilij.

The superior slashing power and speed of the Kilij is much deadlier then the Kopis.

Xyston vs Halberd. Edge = Xyston.

Even though I love the Halberd for having an axe, spear, and a hook, the Xyston gets the edge because it has longer range.

Gastraphetes vs Steel. Edge = Gastraphetes.

Even though both are slow in reloading, the Gastraphetes gets an edge because it is more accurate and little longer range.

Ballista vs Cannon. Edge = Ballista.

Even though both take over a minute to reload, and that the Cannon can be used as a spiked club, the Ballista gets an edge due to longer range, more powerful hit, and pretty good accuracy.

Brass vs Chainmail. Edge = Brass.

The Brass can protect from slashing and may be able to protect from a small stab. The chainmail only protects slashes.


The scene opens up to Alexander inside his Macedonian tent, bent over the table, showing a map, explaining to his small squad of men for his new plans, "Okay my fellow men, as we all know, part of Macedon has been invaded by brutal warriors from Wallachia. Are we going to stand for this?" "NO!" "Then here's the plan..."

After an hour of explaining his plans, Alexander the Great climbs on his horse followed by his men. They ride to the top of a large hill where two loaded ballista's are placed. They turn the wheel on the large catapults, aiming for the six people down the mountain, Vlad the Impaler and his own men.

Vlad never saw it coming. The two bolts sped through the air, one just barely missed Vlad himself, the other nailed into the chest of one of his minions, went straight through him, and planted into the ground, keeping the dead man still standing upright. Vlad thinks of this as an insult, since his man looks like one of his impaled victims. Vlad is mounted on a horse, and commands his on-foot warriors to run up the hill to find their enemies. As soon as they got there, the four on-foot warriors started shooting their cannons and crossbows. They were able to get pass a shield of one of Alexander's man, and the arrow hit him in the eye. Alexander commanded his men to shoot back, and one was able to kill another one of Vlad's men. Alexander the Great = 5. Vlad the Impaler = 4.

Alexander, still on his horse, was handed his xyston, and rode it to the Vlad and his men. Before one of Vlad's men could swing his kilij, the xyston went right into his chest and immediately killed him. Alexander rode his horse back to his team for another xyston, but the hander was assualted by a spike on a hand cannon. Alexander roared and brought out his kopis. He slashed at the body of the spike-clubber but his sword bounced off the chainmail. The spike went for Alexander, barely making through his brass armor. Alexander slashed again on the crown of the head and the man died. Alexander the Great = 4. Vlad the Impaler = 2.

Alexander commands to hold a rebelion with their xystons ready to impale Vlad if he comes any closer. He wasn't stupid, and his last man shot his steel crossbow that nailed a Macedonian soldier in the heart. He reloaded with the wall of spears coming closer. He shot another arrow right before he was stabbed in stomach. The arrow hit another soldier in the neck. Alexander the Great = 2. Vlad the Impaler = 1.

Vlad, now with no soldiers to back him up, pulls up his halberd, riding his horse to the two Macedonians. The hook on the halberd was able to take Alexander's xyston away, and then the axe hit his last man in the nose and severs half of his head off. Alexander ducks from the triple threat weapon, then pulls out his kopis again, slashing the air of where Vlad was a second ago. Alexander gets on his horse again, holding one of his dead man's xyston. Vlad, still on his own horse, extends the spear on the halberd out. Both speed their horses toward the other, and because of the length of the xyston, it went into Vlad before the halberd got a chance. Alexander pulls the massive spear out of Vlad's lifeless body, and raises it in the air with a roar,"MACEDONIA!". Alexander the Great = 1. Vlad the Impaler = 0.

Alexander the Great: 528.

Kopis: 166.

Xyston: 210.

Gastraphetes: 127.

Ballista: 25.

Vlad the Impaler: 472.

Kilij: 167.

Halberd: 143.

Steel Crossbow: 71.

Hand Cannon: 91.

Ending Assessment: With a great edge to most of the weapons, and superior armor, Alexander and his soldiers were able to kill Vlad.

Best Weapon: The Xyston was able to stab through Vlad and impale HIM with 210 kills.

Worst Weapon: Even though it got the edge, the Ballista's importability only got 25 kills.