Tila Tequila Takes a Break from Being Washed Up and Unemployed to Sue NFL Player | SPIKE

Following a memorable encounter with San Diego Chargers star linebacker Shane Merriman in September that resulted in assault  and “emotional distress” claims by a girl who in my opinion would sleep with anyone who has 80 cents and some sort of functioning genitals, the reality television–NFL steroid user fairytale romance took yet another odd turn today.

TMZ (the CNN of Internet gossip sites) reports that Tequila has filed a civil lawsuit against Merriman in order to help compensate for the trauma resulting from their encounter. Or, as it’s known in the legal community, “a last ditch attempt by a wannabe celebrity to get paid.”

According to Tequila’s recollection of the evening, Merriman tried to choke her as she attempted to leave his suburban home after a night that even the Southern California Free Clinic might dub “truly disturbing.”

While the District Attorney decided not to prosecute, Tequila is convinced that she'll win.

Keep reaching for that rainbow, Tila. You’re an inspiration to junior high girls everywhere that literacy rates and teen pregnancy have become a problem.

Source: Film Magic/Getty Images