Top 10 Ballsiest Non-Sports Cheaters
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There is no way any school can completely eliminate cheaters from its borders. They creep through every shadow, lurk in every dank corner, and hide in every alleyway, just waiting to make their move. It's the ones who romp around in a clown uniform with a neon sign that reads "Cheater! Coming through!" who ruin it for the rest of us.
The GMAT administered to business school students had more than a few cheaters looming over the Scantron on test day, thanks to Scoretap.com as their study guide. The site, however, was more than just your average "for Dummies" site. It sold verbatim copies of the test over the Internet to any moron dumb enough to use their own credit card to buy one. The site attracted the authorities' attention when one student bragged about how the site helped them ace the test on the Internet. It's just one of the many times I wish Facebook came with a "poke in the eye" feature.
4. Charles and Diana Ingram
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Of course, what's the fun of getting away with the scheme of the century if there isn't a multi-million person crowd huddled around their screen to watch you do it? It's almost as fun as getting away with the scheme of the century and not telling anyone, but more lucrative.
This British couple tried to do just that when Mr. Ingram took the hot seat on Britain's original version of the game show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. The two devised a scheme where Mrs. Ingram would sit in the crowd and alert her husband to the right answer with a series of coded coughs, all on live television. Mr. Ingram won the money, but the couple had to give it back when their little scheme was unearthed. These days, they're using their lifelines to call their appellate attorneys.
3. Ernie Kovacs
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The comic just didn't like to pay taxes. He abhorred the idea. So he spent most of his professional life going out of his way not to pay them. He would set up fake paper companies to hide his money with increasingly ridiculous names like "The Bazooka Dooka Hicka Hocka Hookah Company" to keep the tax men from getting their grubby little mitts on it.
Eventually, the IRS started showing up at his house and demanding everything that wasn't bolted to the floor or the wall to get him caught up on his enormous bill.
According to an interview with one of his TV regulars, actor Joe Mikolas, one tax agent demanded $40,000 in cash as an easy out and Kovacs promptly refused and threw him out, even though he kept a safe full of an untold amount of dough in small bills in his den. In his defense, it probably cost a hell of a lot of Turtle Wax to keep a pair of crotch cantalopes that soft and manageable.
2. Walter Anderson
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This former telecommunications giant made billions in profits and refused to pay his tax bill for five years, amounting an overdue bill of just around $200 million in unpaid taxes, the largest tax bill in U.S. history. He not only hid $365 million of his earnings in dummy companies and offshore accounts, but he even had the balls to claim that he made $126 million one year and then only $67,939 in the following year. The IRS might be a group of money-hungry simpletons with greed clouding their every erotic thought, but I'm sure they know how to operate a calculator.
1. Victoria Wofford
Of course, it's not the size of a cheater's bank account that gives them a huge pair of anatomically-correct truck nuts. Hell, usually gender doesn't even enter into the equation.
This travel agent and romance-novelist-turned-credit-card-fraudster amassed $25 million in false charges against one credit card company in just four years, using cards connected to accounts from some of her high-priced clients. When the cops slapped the cuffs on her and hauled her before the judge, she had the unmitigated gall to claim that her "sleep apnea" drove her to a life of crime. Now that she's in jail, I'm sure that being woken up by her raging sleeping disorder is the only thing keeping her from finding a new place to hide a shiv.