New England Patriots Illegally (And Ironically) Hire Guatemalan Immigrants to Shovel Snow

January 8, 2010

Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots have always had an eye for unusual talent (and a certain moral flexibility when it comes to playing within the rules). So, it came as no surprise when the three time Super Bowl champs got in a little bit of trouble this week for hiring a few dozen illegal immigrants to help them prepare for the playoffs.

“Nine men from Guatemala were arrested and are facing deportation, and seven are still being held at Bristol County jail,” says a Boston area spokesman for whoever is in charge of kicking people out of America these days. “Another 49 people, most of whom are believed to be from Guatemala, were questioned and released on orders to report to ICE in the future to determine if they are here legally.”

In all fairness, the Patriots simply went with the “best athlete available” strategy that has served them well in the NFL Draft. Sure, they could have hired some local college kids at any of the 213 Universities in the greater Boston area, but everybody knows that the best snow shoveling talent comes from a place in Central America that lists “less crime than you think” and “sunny beaches” as the two major selling points on their tourism literature.

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