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The 10 Non-MMA Fighters Who Might Actually Survive in the Octagon

by Theta1138   September 16, 2011 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 18,069

5. Aaron Rowand

Source: Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Aaron Rowand is a man who runs straight into walls on a regular basis. And the wall loses.

Rowand, a centerfielder currently with the Giants, is pretty famous for taking absolutely scary amounts of abuse. His record, so far, beyond plowing into a cinderblock wall while playing college ball, is running into the outfield fence in 2006, breaking his nose and cheeks. And he got the ball.

We're not sure if Rowand's much of a fighter, but we're also sure any guy who breaks his face and still gets the out is going to be tough to take down, ninja or not.

4. Rafael Nadal

Source: Matthew Stockman/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Let's face it, tennis is just not a manly sport. It's undeniably a sport, but any sport that requires you to dress up like a dork and be quiet when you're in the stands is not manly.

Nadal, on the other hand, is a beast. Here's the thing: he doesn't give up. Ever. Period. He also has scary amounts of stamina, which is why his favorite strategy is to basically pin his opponent into one area of the court and just whale the ball at them until they drop.

Also, he's a pretty skinny guy, so we think he could be fairly scrappy. And if nothing else, he'd actually be in a sport people respect.

3. Zdeno Chara

Source: Bruce Bennett/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Chara, for those who don't follow hockey, is pretty much insane. He's stated more than once that he feels athletes only use 80% of their bodies: he wants to use the whole thing. He's laser-focused, ridiculously fit, and rarely gets into fights.

On the other hand, when he does get into fights, they're extremely short and, for the other guy, extremely painful. Just ask Raitis Ivanans, an enforcer for the Canadiens, who picked a fight with Chara and got an epic beatdown for his trouble.

Oh, did we mention that the fight lasted precisely one punch? Because that's all Chara needed to bust Ivanans jaw like a pinata? Maybe the UFC should be grateful Chara likes hockey: we think the fights would be pretty short with him on the card.

2. Jack Lambert

Source: George Gojkovich/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Widely considered one of the best players in the history of the Pittsburgh Steelers, Lambert helped the team to win four Super Bowls in 11 years. He's one of the most beloved players in Pittsburgh, and one of the scariest to anybody else.

Why? Lambert, 6'4" and 220 pounds, was famous for hitting like a freight train. Lambert was considered tiny for a linebacker, but he regularly bulldozed through 300 pound opposition like it was nothing...something John Elway learned the hard way as Lambert was the first guy to sack him. Lambert, as a linebacker, was strong, quick...and smart.

That's why we think Lambert in his prime could take anything the UFC had to offer; he regularly outwitted his opponents on the fly, even though they were out to squish him. Heck, he had his teeth knocked out in high school: what are they going to scare him with after that?

1. Elvis Stojko

Source: Danny Gohlke/Bongarts/Getty Images

A figure skater? We want to see a figure skater in the Octagon? For what? The shortest match ever recorded?

As Nancy Kerrigan proved, not many figure skaters can take a hit. Stojko is an exception. In addition to being one of the few heterosexual male figure skaters (let's face it, it's just not a career path most straight guys get into), he got a black belt in karate at 16 and was in martial arts competitions as late as 2005.

He also happens to be incredibly agile (you try jumping a lot on skates going 40 mph) and incredibly fast. So he's quick, he's strong, and he's trained. Out of all of these guys, we like his odds. Come on, Elvis. At the very least, you might actually make grown men voluntarily watch figure skating.