The PGA Championship started earlier today with some of the world’s most respected golfers (and Phil Mickelson) in attendance. After five holes, Tiger Woods is playing his best golf in years and will undoubtedly win the entire tournament! (No, it's not too early to start engraving his name in the trophy.)
Approaching the sixth hole of the first round of golf’s final major of the year, the world's most notable golf lothario is currently tied for first place at three-under-par, having already registered three birdies.
After a year filled with marital disappointment, IHOP pregnancy scares, and absolutely no professional success, it’s great to see Woods finally on top and showing other adulterers that dreams do come true. (For at least 17 minutes.)
If only that Australian ass-clown Stuart Appleby could take his irritating respect for women back to Sydney, Woods could be the sole leader of the pack until the more talented golfers tee off later this afternoon.
(NOTE: One hour after this article was written, Woods went two over par and finished the day at one stroke under, tied for 16th place.)
Photo: Andy Lyons/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images