Mantenna - And the Oscar Goes to ...

February 28, 2011
The Oscars hand out some hardware, Charlie Sheen may find himself with a lot more free time, and Iran is training hard in their efforts to make the 2012 Olympics uncomfortable for everyone. The Mantenna is always the answer on a multiple choice exam.

Photo: Steve Granitz/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Iran Gets Early Start on Olympic Insanity

The Olympics may be a year and a half away, but Iran is already positioning itself for a gold medal in both insane and anti-Semitic notions. According to ESPN, “Iran objects to the logo for the 2012 London Olympics, contending it is racist because it resembles the word "Zion" and warning of a possible boycott of the Games.” Clearly, they have the Olympic spirit. [ESPN]

Media Unable to Comprehend Intelligent Football Player

The University of Albama’s quarterback scored an unusually high grade on his pre-draft intelligence test. Naturally, people are unsure how to react. Yahoo! reports “Usually, leaked Wonderlic scores are embarrassingly low. Not so, however, for Alabama quarterback Greg McElroy, who nearly aced the test, scoring a 48 out of a possible 50 according to his hometown Fort Worth Star-Telegram. That score puts him on the high, high end of potential employees in any field, and especially among NFL quarterbacks. A 48 is twice the league average for incoming QBs, and matches the highest score for a quarterback on record, belonging to current Buffalo Bills starter Ryan Fitzpatrick, a Harvard grad.” [Yahoo!]

And the Oscars Go To…

Last night the 83rd Annual Academy Awards took place in Hollywood and the evening was a pretty placid affair. All the front runners nabbed awards and there were no entertaining surprises or upsets. Best Film went to The King’s Speech, which also picked up Best Actor (Colin Firth) and Best Director (Tom Hooper). Natalie Portman took home the Oscar for Best Actress for her performance in Black Swan. The other acting awards went to cast members of The Fighter with an excited Christian Bale taking home Best Supporting Actor and an f-bomb dropping Melissa Leo nabbing an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Reviews for the James Franco and Anne Hathaway as hosts were mixed and the ratings for the telecast were down 12 percent in the important 18 – 49 age bracket. [New York Times]

Charlie Sheen Might Be Replaced

As Charlie Sheen took to the airwaves to defend his recent hard partying, CBS has let it slip that they might replace Sheen with John Stamos on the highly successful and lucrative sitcom Two and Half Men. E! News is reporting that Les Moonves, the head of CBS, was witnessed discussing the scenario with Stamos at a Beverly Hills Hotel party. According to E!, “They were at the bar talking and Les asked John if he'd be interested in replacing Charlie. It wouldn't be to play Charlie's character but they talked more about introducing a new character.” No wonder Sheen is so eager to get back to work. [E! Online]

Lady Gaga Give Birth

Lady Gaga continues to try and shock with her music video for “Born This Way.” In the opening moments, Lady Gaga graphically gives birth to a set of slimy twins, one good the other evil. The epically long music video (it clocks in at over seven minutes) tells the story of G.O.A.T, a government-owned space territory and the beginning of a race of truly peaceful and accepting people. The video starts with Gaga sprouting some monotone propaganda: “As the wombs numbered and the mitosis of the future began, it was perceived that this infamous moment in life is not temporal, it is eternal. And thus began the beginning of the new race, a race within the race of humanity, a race which bears no prejudice, no judgment, but boundless freedom. But on that same day, as the eternal mother hovered in the multiverse, another more terrifying birth took place: the birth of evil.” Then the song starts and Lady Gaga is back to dancing around in skimpy outfits. [Huffington Post]