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The Top 10 Most Blood-Soaked Video Game Weapons

by Reverend_Danger   November 17, 2008 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 5,706

 

5. Soldier of Fortune 2 – Any Gun

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As a shooter with a Quake III engine, Soldier of Fortune is not alone.  As a tool for dismemberment, at least, it’s at the top of the pile (of limbs).  In this game you can literally shoot your enemy's face off.  Look at that picture.  See how his face is gone.  That was because of you, soldier.  Freedom!  

4. The Suffering: Ties that Bind - L.A.W. (Light Anti-tank Weapon)

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Ties that Bind is a game where, at the beginning, you have to choose whether you’ll be gunning for the good guys, or bombing for the baddies.  That’s kind of interesting.  But it’s not as interesting as wielding a Light Anti-Tank Weapon, (a.k.a. the L.A.W.) This is a gun for fighting tanks.  You should probably shoot walking sacks of meat with it. 

3. Mortal Kombat - Goro’s Four Hands

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Goro, you four-armed demon of destruction, you monosyllabic warrior wearing a man-diaper.  How can so blunt an object yield so many precisely-delivered, almost surgical, blows to the dainty cheek and breastbones of, say, Sonya or Johnny Cage?  It is because Goro, as prince of the Shokan, is kind of a bad mamma jamma.  That’s why. Now watch him drain his opponents of their sticky life force.

2. Gears of War - Lancer

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The Lancer is an obvious choice, granted, but it’s obvious because it’s so damn good.  Hypothetical internal monologue:  Well, I’ve got this sweet machine gun.  It kills a lot of dudes, and that’s great.  But it’s just not fulfilling my raging sociopathic tendencies.  Ideally, I’d like to taste the blood as the life leaves my enemy's eyes.  How!?  How can I achieve this? A most modest goal…

1. Dead Rising - Shower of Blood

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I realize this may be a controversial pick, but I’m basing it on most of us not enjoying the visceral splash of blood because we really want to see real blood splashed.  It’s because we laugh with relief and giddy joy when we realize that a person is, indeed, not being split from butt to breast with a chainsaw.  And, in that spirit, I invite you to play Dead Rising and spear a water pick into your enemy's head, showering them in their own humiliation.  And, of course, by humiliation I mean fetid zombie blood. 

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