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The Top 10 Most Blood-Soaked Video Game Weapons

by Reverend_Danger   November 17, 2008 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 5,629

One of the best parts about video games is escaping from your humdrum reality.  You probably don’t have a gun that fires a spiraling cone of death into the cerebellums of your reptile enemies.  Some of us here at the office do, but we understand they’re relatively rare in the general population.  But hope is not lost!  You can taste the sweet nectar of carnage through that plasticized controller in your hands.

10. Turok 2 - Cerebral Bore

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The Cerebral Bore (or “brain-seeking missile”) is a weapon that locks on to an opponent's ripe melon, launching a whirling dervish of destruction at it, allowing the assailant (hopefully you) to watch as the target's consciousness was literally drilled out of their skull.  It has a somewhat sluggish targeting mechanism, but when launched, that tell-tale dentist drill sound becomes the harbinger of some airborne grey matter (and likely a broken controller). 

9. Shadow of Rome - Curvy Sword

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This game is pretty much the Cesarean wet dream of a sadistic bloodsport enthusiast.  So, needless to say, it's pretty devastatingly gory.  You use a variety of weapons throughout, but whatever that curvy Greek sword is does the majority of the slaying.

8. God of War - Blades of Chaos

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I remember the first time I wielded the Blades of Chaos.  In the opening of the first God of War, there is no tutorial; you just mash buttons when surrounded by Mediterranean undead.  To my wonder, a steely tornado of chained gore began whirling around the tattooed body of our favorite anti-hero. It was almost balletic, except there were more viscera exposed. More, please. 

7. Resident Evil 4 - Chicago Typewriter 

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Resident Evil is one of the most delightfully gory franchises, and Resident Evil 4 tops the heap as the bloodiest.  It’s hard to choose just one weapon from this game, but the undeniable panache of the Chicago Typewriter (a.k.a. The Thompson Machine Gun a.k.a. The Tommy Gun).  Who says killing zombies has to be uncivilized? 

6. Condemned - Sledgehammer

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Condemned: Criminal Origins is a game that the developers say was inspired by such feel-good flicks as Se7en and The Silence of the Lambs.  So, you can imagine to sort of skullduggery that the protagonist, Ethan Thomas, gets into as a criminal investigator.  Probably the best of his shenanigans involves smashing his opponents to a squelching mess with a sledgehammer. 

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