11:01am
Cops O: Between a Bush and a Hard Place
11:31am
Cops O: Running in Traffic
12:00pm
Cops O: Too Many Cooks
12:30pm
Cops O: A Man Without a Plan
1:00pm
Cops O: Love Bites
1:30pm
Cops O: Strange Encounters
2:00pm
Cops O: Step Away from the Cutlery
8:30pm
Cops O: Between a Bush and a Hard Place
10:00pm
Cops O: Running in Traffic
10:30pm
Cops O: A Man Without a Plan
11:00pm
Cops O: Love Bites
11:30pm
Cops O: Strange Encounters
12:00am
Cops O: Too Many Cooks
12:30am
Cops O: Step Away from the Cutlery
2:00am
Jail: Las Vegas
2:30am
3:00am
3:30am
9:00am
Gangland: Most Notorious
10:00am
Gangland: To Torture or to Kill?
11:00am
Gangland: Killing Snitches
12:00pm
Gangland: Texas Terror
1:00pm
Gangland: The Death Head
2:00pm
Gangsters: America’s Most Evil : The Pot Princess of Beverly Hills: Lisette Lee
6:00pm
Cops O: Tell It To My Wife

The Top 10 Manliest Pets

by Reverend_Danger   February 11, 2009 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 7,462

Everybody says that a dog is a man’s best friend, but what if that dog is so small that it can be carried in a large purse?  What if that dog wears booties or costumes on Halloween? That dog is now man’s horrifying nemesis.  There must be other options for manly pets out there, and I found them.

By Reverend Danger

The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.

 

10. Pig

image

Source: Adrian Samson/Lifesize/Getty Images

Arnold from Green Acres comes immediately to mind for this entry.  Here is a dirty, brilliant, loyal pet that a man can also turn into bacon in a pinch.  It’s important to note, though, that pigs of the pot-bellied variety are not at all manly as they have a prohibitively high cuteness factor.

Best Name: Professor Oinkenstein

9. Monkey

image

Source: Peter Boel Nielsen/Stone/Getty Images

Monkeys are great because they’re like little, hairier, louder versions of yourself (I realize I’m making an assumption about your relative volume and hairiness).  Probably the coolest part, though, is that if you’ve got a little bit of time and dedication, you can train your monkey to steal from people.

Best Name: Mister Jimbles

8. Clydesdale

image

Source: Getty Images/Royalty Free

These gigantic frickin’ horses are great for a few reasons.  The first is that they make beer.  I’m not sure how – I’m not a brewmaster – but they do.  Another reason is that they are almost unreasonably large.  But real men have unreasonable tasks to accomplish. Need that oak tree pulled out of the ground? Whistle your trusty Clydesdale over and throw a ship rope around his neck.

Best Name: Archimedes (Archy for Short)

7. Constrictor

image

Source: Mel Yates/Photodisc/Getty Images

Constrictors are a type of snake that aren’t venomous – the catch and kill their pray by wrapping their gigantic snake-bodies around it, then crushing.  They’re obviously pretty rad – think of them like an extra, giant phallus that can kill a man.  Oh, by the way, that’s the most manly part about them.  Sometimes they kill you.

Best Name: Bret Michaels

6. Scorpion

image

Source: Dave Hamman/Gallo Images/Getty Images

Scorpions are deadly, hard, industrious little mothers that are most active at night.  They are kind of like me but much less handsome.  They insist upon live prey – you can’t kill your crickets/spiders/small lizards before feeding your scorpion.  They’ll flip you off with their tail and ask for something more fun. 

Best Name:  Jezebel

THE DAILY FOUR