If The Expendables Were Chicks

August 11, 2010

It's not often a movie has a cast as star-studded as The Expendables. But as epic as the cast is, it has Craig of the Weekend Pre-Game wondering, who would star in an all-female version of the new action movie?

  • Sylvester Stallone: He's the leader, the icon, this is a no brainer: Craig's #1 favorite, Megan Fox.
  • Stone Cold Steve Austin: Wrestler turned actor - this one's also easy, Stacey Keibler! She's a stone cold stunner with those legs!
  • MMA legend, Randy Couture - well, no hot chick knows more about the ground and pound than Mrs. Tito Ortiz, Jenna Jameson! - and we're even told she has some acting experience... though nothing Craig's ever seen.

  • Dolph Lundgren - Swedish asskicker, used his fists to kill Apollo Creed in Rocky IV - so let's go with another Swedish ass-kicker. She alledgedly used a 9 iron to pummel Tiger Woods: Elin Nordegren.

  • Jet Li - He's got pint-sized fists of fury so the natural pick here is a pint-sized furious fist-pumper: Craig's favorite guidette, Snooki!

  • Jason Statham - British badass - well, when you think British and ass, only one name comes to mind...Elizabeth Hurley!

  • Terry Crews and Mickey Rourke - One has a body built like a brickhouse and the other's face is totally reconstructed: Boom! Craig's got the perfect pair: Kim Kardashian and Madonna!

  • And finally, Bruce Willis. Another icon, the gold standard in the genre, but a little long in the tooth, well, there's only one pick: the incomparable Betty White!

Do you agree with Craig, or would you choose a different set of ladies to fill the roles?