Top 15 Hot Girls Gone Fugly

October 6, 2008

There is nothing more tragic than when a fine wine sours, when a beautiful flower wilts or when the stature of an ancient Greek goddess crumbles. Hollywood is not immune to this phenomenon and sometimes fate plays a cruel trick on those who were born beautiful. Here are the top 15 hot girls gone fugly.

15. Renee Zellweger


Glory Days: Renee Zellweger was the girl who had Tom Cruise at “hello,” which was big deal back in 1996 before Tom Cruise went crazy. Renee shined as the adorable single mom looking for love.

What went wrong? Three words – Bridget Jones’s Diary. Zellweger was great in the role, but the large amount of weight she had to stack on played with her mind and she literally became the butt of fat jokes. She never recovered. Then there were the string of failed relationships, and ever since Zellweger has been ensconced in clouds of sadness.

Is there hope? Yes. Renee may be approaching 40, but she still looks pretty good. As long as she doesn’t go overboard with the plastic surgery (she’s definitely on a path) she might just be fine.


14. Britney Spears


Glory Days: There is no doubt that Britney’s best days came with the release of Baby One More Time. She was untouchable and hot to boot. Every teenage boy, girl and old man were besotted with her. My great-grandfather even bought her album and I’m pretty sure he was hard of hearing at the time. 

What went wrong? Britney crashed and burned right around the time she got married for the first time. She then found herself hurtling down the Michael Jackson road of pop fame. She married again, popped out some babies, shaved her head and started acting bat-sh%t crazy.

Is there hope? It’s true, Britney is finally back. She’s looking great (okay, better), not acting irrationally or like a medicated zombie, and is winning awards and hearts again. Here’s to hoping it lasts??


13. Kirsten Dunst


Glory Days:  Kirsten Dunst has been acting for a long time. Her breakout performance was playing tween vampire Claudia in Interview with the Vampire. Years later she was America’s slightly bitchy sweetheart in Bring it On and a bubbly red head in the first Spiderman.

What went wrong? My buddy thinks the problem is BOOZE. The party lifestyle caught up with her. She got depressed, sadness filled her eyes, and she progressively sucked in the 2 subsequent Spiderman films. All of this drew greater attention to her snaggletooth teeth, which she refuses to get fixed.

Is there hope? Kirsten could turn it all around with some braces and a bottle of Prozac.


12. Janet Jackson


Glory Days: Janet Jackson was hot, hot, hot in the early 1990s. Her album janet was huge and she was terrific in the film Poetic Justice.

What went wrong? It’s almost like the Jackson family name finally caught up with her and tainted her. Recording a duet with Michael in 1995 probably didn’t help. Then she accidently exposed herself during the Super Bowl and was scorned. Since then her weight has fluctuated like a yo-yo.

Is there hope? The girl can sing, she is in no way as crazy as other members of the Jackson family, and when she loses weight she looks great.


11. Brigitte Bardot


Glory Days: Bardot is the original sexpot. In her day, the French model, actress and singer oozed lust.  Her stare would pierce through lenses and practically melt the film inside. In the mid 1950s, she was considered too risqué for American audiences.

What went wrong? As Bardot got older, she got crazier. She became a die hard animal rights activist and started spewing racist drivel, which is the reason she’s on this list. The crazy cat lady has been convicted 5 times for inciting racial hatred in France.

Is there hope? No. Old people are set in their ways and you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.


10. Sharon Stone


Glory Days: I think a certain panty-less sitting-down scene best sums the glory days of Sharon Stone.

What went wrong? Sadly, I think things went downhill for Stone when she suffered a brain hemorrhage in 2001. Since then she hasn’t been all there and has made some horrible career choices like Catwoman and Basic Instincts 2. Most recently she lost custody of her son after supposedly wanting to inject him with Botox.

Is there hope? The only hope for Stone is to fade away gracefully. It’s sad to try to look and live like your 25, when you’re clearly not.


9. Meg Ryan


Glory Days: Meg Ryan was once the darling of Romantic comedies with films like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail. She ruled the genre and America was totally in love with her.

What went wrong? She got her lips pumped with collagen and ended up looking like she’d perpetually been stung by a bee, America’s love affair with her quickly faded.

Is there hope? I’m on the fence with this one. America does love a comeback, and Meg could do it as long as she stays away from the plastic surgeon’s needle.


8. Madonna


Glory Days: Madonna has a different look with every album. From Like a Virgin to Confessions on a Dance Floor she’s changed her image and managed to pull it off each time.

What went wrong? Madonna didn’t change her look with the release of Hard Candy. Instead, she hit the gym and worked on some hard guns and biceps.

Is there hope?
If she takes some time off from the gym and eats some Twinkies, then yes.


7. Amy Winehouse


Glory Days: Amy’s best days were before she hit the dizzy height of international fame with the release of her album Back to Black in 2006. Before this she was riding a wave of success in Britain with her debut album Frank, living a smaller life but obviously a happier one.

What went wrong? Crack cocaine.

Is there hope? Hope is about all that Amy has, but like any addiction it can be broken. Let’s hope she makes it.


6. Jenna Jameson


Glory Days: It’s hard to say if any porn star has really had their "glory days" unless it involves working on the set of a glory hole skin flick. Jenna Jameson is not your usual porn star and managed to thrust her way into the mainstream with the publication of her best selling book How to Make Love Like a Porn Star in 2004.

What went wrong? Porn is a sad, sad industry that attracts messed up people. Of late, Jenna has had too much plastic surgery and looks like a cross between a skeleton and a zombie. That's just not a good look for anyone.

Is there hope? She’s had her implants removed, retired from appearing in porn and is expecting twins. Plus she’s very rich. With her past, the future can only be brighter.


5. Kelly LeBrock


Glory Days: Kelly LeBrock was riding high in the mid 1980s with starring roles in The Woman in Red and Weird Science.  It’s hard to top yourself after you’ve played the world’s most perfect woman. Teenage boys across the world found it hard to control their Oingo Boingo after watching LeBrock.

What went wrong? She married action hero Steven Segal, who used to be her bodyguard. Then she had 3 of his children and disappeared. LeBrock has been back in the spotlight of late, appearing on reality TV shows and acting like a total b@#ch.

Is there hope? She should call up Gary and Wyatt and see if they can use their computer magic on her.


4. Kirstie Alley


Glory Days: Kirstie Alley rose to prominence when she joined the cast of Cheers. In the early 90’s she won an Emmy and appeared in the first Look Who’s Talking film. She could do no wrong.

What went wrong?
She got fat...real fat. Nowadays she looks more like Jabba the Hut than the neurotic, sassy Rebecca Howe we all loved.

Is there hope? It’s okay for girls who are funny to be fat, so yes there is some hope for Ms. Alley. Plus she used to be a spokeswoman for Jenny Craig, which means she got paid to lose weight at one point. There is no better incentive to lay off the milkshakes and fries than cold hard cash.


3. Tara Reid


Glory Days: It’s hard to believe but there was a time that Tara Reid was the "it" girl. She was the hottest girl in American Pie, she was dating Carson Daly (who was really cool at the time) and her husky voice seemed sexy.

What went wrong? She started accidently exposing herself, seemed wasted all the time and had plastic surgery that left her looking like she’d been run over by a gravel truck.

Is there hope? She is looking a little better of late and has had some of her botched plastic surgery corrected. She’s also shopping around her own reality show – which could be her saving grace or the final nail in the coffin of her “career."


2. Kathleen Turner


Glory Days: Kathleen Turner once said in the early 1980s "on a night when I feel really good about myself, I can walk into a room, and if a man doesn't look at me, he's probably gay," and it was true. The Body Heat star was a sex bomb with a sultry sexy voice, the ultimate femme fatal who also had panache for comedy.

What went wrong? Age is a cruel thing. She’s suffered from serious arthritis, had her nose broken and her voice has deepened. She looks and sounds more like a drag queen than the sultry sex-pot she once was. These days, if she walks in a room and a guy does look at her, then he’s probably gay.

Is there hope? No! The girl can still act but she’s no Helen Mirren (who’s older).


1. Melanie Griffith


Glory Days: Griffith was the original party girl. In the late 1970s she was best known for playing the sexy nymphet in films such as Night Moves, Smile and The Drowning Pool. She had a career resurgence in the mid 1980s with roles in such films as Body Double and Working Girl, showing that she could perfectly mix sexiness and comedy.

What went wrong? Oh Lordy! These days Melanie Griffith looks like a witch. All her partying and drug taking is etched onto her face. Griffith looks rough. Like that old saying going around, "you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig."

Is there hope?
Melanie Griffith should ask her mom, actress Tippi Hedren, for advice on how to age gracefully. Then, she might have a chance.


* Sadly, Bea Arthur did not make the list. Scarily, she actually got better with age.