Gene Simmons Axe Guitar

January 14, 2009

The Gene Simmons axe guitar is for those Guitar Hero heroes that embrace the darker, shining metallic edge of fake rocking.  Based on Simmons’ actual, axe-shaped axe, this game controller features a bi-directional strum bar, a classic whammy bar, “ultraresponsive” fret buttons on both ends of the neck, and one more thing…

...a terrifying axe for the body.  Laugh if you must at this semi-silly controller, but fake rocking evolves into real carnage relatively quickly.  This controller, in fact, reminds me of a story.

True:  I bought a bunch of ninja swords because I’m awesome.  And, one night, in a rock-induced fit of kickassery, I used said ninja swords to chop up my roommate’s entertainment center (on which we were playing Guitar Hero 2).  I did it because it was kind of rock and roll, and also because he was a gigantic, flapping douchenozzle.  The weird part, though, was that nobody said a single friggin’ word about it until the day I moved out, a year later, and I showed up with a new entertainment center tied to the roof of my sh*tty Mazda with an orange extension cord.

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