Round 2 Match 4: Alexander the Great vs William Wallace

December 2, 2010

The undefeated Macedonian commander fights Scotlands most notorious rebel!


Alexander the Great:

Short Range- Kopis

Mid Range- Xyston

Long Range- Gastrophetes

Special- Ballista

Armor- Bronze Cuirass and Helmet, Medium size Bronze Shield

Tactics- Adapt to the Situation

William Wallace:

Short Range- War Hammer

Mid Range- Claymore

Long Range- Ball and Hammer

Special- Targe and Dirk

Armor- Chainmail, Targe

Tactics- Brutality, Seek and Destroy


Short Range- War Hammer vs Kopis

Edge- Kopis

The War Hammer is one of my favorite weapons because it can just devastate anything in it's path. It would crush most armor and the spike end is overkill, since its basically doing the job of a hammer and a nail at the same time. However it's two major downfalls is that it's short and slow. He has to get in close to use it, and even then he has to take a big swing that Alexander could definitely do something about quickly. The Kopis is a very good sword with a hellish curve on it, miking limb and head cutting that much easier. It may not be able to slash too well because of it's design, but because of Wallaces Chainmail it never would have been able to anyways. The fact that it's wielded behind Alexanders shield makes it even deadlier, as he can simultainously block and attack Wallace while he charges at him. It may not be able to cut through cow ribs, but it still gets the Edge in short range weapons.

Mid Range- Claymore vs Xyston

Edge- Claymore

The Claymore is one big sword. William was definitely compensating for something when he chose this thing, since it's just gigantic in every way. It's two sided, (which is kinda nessessary for that big of a sword to work anyways) can cut through most anything fleshy, and can stab very well, which I've noticed that many large swords cannot do. This means that anything you do with it can kill the other guy. The Xyston on the other hand is limited to stabbing and hitting people with the handle. It is, mind you, about 3 times longer than the Claymore, which definitely gives it an advantage in being able to kill him before he can use any of his good weapons, but  it's not enough, since a stab with it isn't going to be precise because of how big it is, and if you get past the sharp end you've eliminated nearly any threat that weapon can give you. Because of the Xyston's limited effectiveness (on ground) Wallace gets the Edge in Mid range weapons.

Long Range- Ball and Chain vs Gastrophetes

Edge- Gastrophetes

Both of these weapons are not very good for any battle really, but the Ball and Chain is really horrible in so many ways. First theirs the accuracy, which is slightly better than having a guy get drunk and try to use a sling to hit a nail sticking out of the nail. Just trying to throwing the weapon could make you dizzy too, making it detrimental even. Then you have the killing potential, which isn't very good, even if it was accurate. It got a rating of a 16 MPH motorcycle crash, which may or may not be accurate, seeing how they put the meter-thing underneath the frozen torso, and I have no idea how it would get the force of a hit coming from above it at a 90 degree angle. Anyways, that won't always kill you, so the Edge goes to the slow, innaccurate, sometimes misfiring belly bow.

Special Weapons- Targe and Dirk vs Ballista

Edge- Targe and Dirk

The Ballista's awful, if it hits it kills, the problem is it's a siege weapon, and their are very few sieges that are held between two men on an open battlefield. The Targe and Dirk on the other hand may be short range, but have unprecedented amounts of killing potential due to the fact that it protects you while you go in for the stab. If he tries to dadge the Targe's spike, you always have the Dirk to hit him wherever he went. It's got great offense and a solid defense, so it easily take the Edge in Special Weapons.

Armor- Chainmail and Targe vs Bronze Cuirass, helmet, and shield.

Edge- Alexander

Wallace had chainmail, which can block slashing weapons well, but against a weapon like the Xyston it won't hold up. His Targe is a much better defense in terms of damage absorbtion, but it's quite small. Alexander had much better armor in terms of how much punishment it could take, but it was pretty heavy, making him slightly slow. His cuirass can stop Wallaces weapons, but thats not to say his arms wouldnt be chopped off by one swipe from the claymore. Nonetheless, his armor is superior in stopping Wallaces weapons from effectely piercing through to his squishy parts, and his shield is a tad bigger than Wallaces, so he get the Edge.

Tactics- Seek and Destroy vs Adapt to Situation

Edge- Alexander

Alexander fought against a very diverse group of enemies, and all of them fell to Alexander because he was smart. He knew how to conduct a battlefield, and he could see the enemies weaknesses as well. Wallace is going to be charging at him, trying to kill him as quickly as possible. Alexander has certainly fought against these types of enemies before, but few with such a devestating arsenal as Wallace has. Nonetheless, Alexander get the Edge because of how he proved himself capable of overcoming extraordinary odds.


William Wallace is sitting in a field, tired from trying to hunt Elk with his Ball and Chain. He gets his Dirk out and cuts the meat of the Elk he just killed, when Alexander the Great walks up and sits next to him. "Hey, what do you got there Will?" William replied, "I just killed an Elk with my Ball and Chain, so now I'm going to cook and eat it." Alexander, shocked by the news, retorted "What? How did you kill anything with that piece of junk weapon?" William was offended by this, and said, "It's not a piece of junk, its really heavy and I like to spin around with it."

"Yeah, you would like spinning around you dumbass."

"Okay Alex, now your taking it too far. Be quiet."

"What are you going to do about it? Throw your big ball at me?"

"No, I'll cut you in half!"

And with that William Wallace took out his Claymore and took a swing at Alexander, who narrowly dodged it. He quickly got up and ran over to where he left his weapons. Wallace chased him down though, and he barely had time to get his Kopis and shield before Wallace was there. He blocked the swing from Wallace and swung at his legs, but Wallace kicked the blade out of his hands and swung at Alexander's neck.

Alexander ducked and tackled Wallace down to the ground. He elbowed Wallace in the face and broke his nose, but Wallace took out his Dirk and stabbed at Alexander's neck, glancing off of his helmet. Alexander quickly jumped up and ran back to his Xyston. Wallace had his Targe out at this point, along with his War Hammer. Alexander stabbed at Wallace's leg and hit his calf muscle.

Wallace stumbled hard but didn't fall. Alexander quickly changed this by swinging his Xyston around and hitting Wallace in the temple with the shaft of the Xyston, knocking him out.

When he woke up he found he was tied to a tree and Alexander was standing in front of him, holding his ball and chain. "So Will, I figure the best way to see if this thing can actually kill someone is to test it out on someone." He than spun around with it as Wallace tried to struggle out of his ropes, as Alexander let go of the ball and chain, missing Wallace completely. "Dammit! Let's try this again." As Alexander ran past Wallace to pick up the ball and chain again, Wallace got his Dirk in his hands and cut himself free. He ran back to where he was tackled and grabbed his Claymore. He truned around and was immidiately shot in the heart by a bolt from Alexander's Gastrophetes. He fell lifeless to the ground, as Alexander went over to the Elk meat, which was nearly burnt at this point.

Winner: Alexander the Great

Ending Assessment:

Alexanders superior tactics and armor helped overcome Wallaces deadly arsenal of weapons.

Final Results

Alexander the Great- 523 Kills

Kopis- 237 Kills

Xyston- 225 Kills

Gastrophetes- 58 Kills

Ballista- 3 Kills

Best Weapon- His Kopis got 237 Kills

Worst Weapon- His Ballista will always be his worst weapon. If you need to know why, your stupid.

William Wallace- 477 Kills

War Hammer- 45 Kills

Claymore- 274 Kills

Ball and chain- 1 Kill

Targe and Dirk- 157 Kills

Best Weapon- His Claymore cut Alexander in half, with 274 Kills

Worst weapon- His Ball and Chain got one kill, and to be honest, that might have been the Elk.