A Little Too Much Sugar at the Donut Shop

August 4, 2011

Is there a job in America more demeaning than fast food? The wages suck, the customers are terrible, there are zero benefits unless you like fried junk, and your manager is usually some guy who hates his job or is insanely dedicated to the company. No wonder so many fast food employees seek, uh, extralegal funding opportunities.

Of course, there's a difference between some kid selling weed out the back of your local McDonald's and what was happening at a Dunkin' Donuts in Rockaway Township, New Jersey. Namely, an employee named Melissa Redmond would come out to your car and, how do we put this, put a little sugar on your glazed stick.

Yep, she was pulling double duty on her shift, both slinging donuts and working as a prostitute. Arguably the shift was ideal for Redmond: she worked 9pm to 5am, and pretty much the only people getting coffee and donuts that late at night are police or creepy guys looking to pick up hookers anyway. Avoid the guys with the windowless vans and it's double your money. Well, hopefully substantially more than double, unless Dunky's pays far better than we suspected.

But don't go buying donuts in Jersey yet: Redmond was caught by Rockaway Township police in a bust called, of course, "Extra Sugar" (they had to come up with a code name for a mission to arrest a hooker? How bored are these guys?). Included in the arrest report is quite possibly the most hilarious detail: she solicited customers through the drive-in.

Now that's carhop service!

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