Snakes in the Hood.

June 11, 2008

I do not like snake attacks.

I do not like bites upon my back. 

I do not like to be bitten on the city street

I do not want to turn into dead meat.

They do not belong in my downtown.

With that type of snake, I can only frown... 

Thanks to Samuel L. Jackson(nsfw) and ineffective serpentine regulation, writhing balls of scaly doom are everywhere we go.  At least that’s the way it seems to me.  A man in a park in Inglewood(!) was attacked today by a rattlesnake.

Following the morality tale framework of this story’s predecessor, Snakes on a Plane, the man had been drinking heavily and, due to his inebriation, actually sought out the rattler in pursuit of...adventure, I guess? Sgt. Juan Ferreira explains exactly what happened.

The man discovered the reptile at Edward Vincent Park, at 700 Warren Lane, late Tuesday night, said Inglewood police Sgt. Juan Ferreira. "He picked up the snake, and got bit" on the hand, he said.

Fair enough.  that's the way these things go.  But, take heed!  He continues to warn of the impending snake-ocalypse: 

"It's extremely uncommon. I've been here for 10 years, and have never heard of a rattlesnake being found at one of our parks," he said.

I hate snakes.  Why'd it have to be snakes.