The Seven Sports Moments that Proved Karma Doesn't Exist
3. Kobe Bryant Becomes one of America’s Favorite Athletes Despite Being a Massive Piece of Garbage
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For a guy who still collects “thanks for showing other accused rapists that dreams really do come true” fan mail from the featured stars of To Catch a Predator, Kobe Bryant still garners an inordinate amount of support from human beings who generally fall in the “yes” side of the “are adultery and rape wrong?” debate.
The NBA defensive standout (and standout defendant in the Colorado court system) ruined the Los Angeles Lakers' 2004 championship run with his court ordered appearances, ongoing media attention, and unique views on victim’s rights.
Later that year, after telling anybody (including authorities) who would listen that Shaquille O’Neal cheats on his wife, Bryant forced the Lakers to trade the Big Aristotle for Caron Butler and a guy who would eventually marry Khloe Kardashian. (Bryant would later ask the team to trade emerging star Andrew Bynum during a Newport Beach temper tantrum in the parking lot of a woman’s clothing store.) Seriously, what a guy!
Interestingly enough, his rape allegations, roster demands, and general disregard for other people were just what the Lakers needed, as Bryant would eventually win his fourth NBA title in 2009. (Though he refused to acknowledge his fanbase in protective custody during the post-game interview.)
2. Ray Lewis Gets Charged With Murder Before Winning the Super Bowl
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Though the NFL certainly prides itself on hard discipline and gameday gun control, the league sure does have a hard time stopping its best players from killing people (allegedly).
In January of 2000, Ray Lewis made all four of his illegitimate children proud when he collected his first murder charge following an altercation at an Atlanta-area night club. The all-pro linebacker dodged a conviction by turning snitch, and ratted out his two friends who were involved in the attack. (Luckily for them, Lewis wasn’t too convincing on the stand and nobody ended up going to jail.)
The courtroom drama didn’t exactly slow Lewis down, though, as the then-24-year-old would go on to become the Super Bowl MVP 11 months later. Unfortunately Lewis did not earn the traditional trip to Disneyland, as the folks at the happiest place on earth were unsure if they could get Mickey Mouse fitted for a stab-proof vest in time.
Following the ordeal, Lewis noted how he was a changed man and vowed to spend more time teaching kids the value of responsible decision making and police cooperation.
(Note: Convicted murderer Donte Stallworth will join the Ravens in 2010 after a three-week stay in jail last season.)
1. Leonard Little is Also Involved in a Little Death Before Winning the Super Bowl
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As one of the top defensive players in the NFL to have an involuntary manslaughter conviction on the back of his trading card, Leonard Little became a pre-millennium trailblazer in the athletic world’s heroic fight for both preferential treatment and “less ugly people in the stands during St. Louis Rams games.”
In 1998, after consuming enough alcohol to savagely drown a small racehorse, Little took his .19 blood alcohol level behind the wheel of his fancy new Escalade and promptly smashed it into a smaller car - killing a young mother in the process. The somewhat apologetic athlete received a few months in jail before amassing nearly $50 million in salary/bonuses, a Super Bowl title, and congratulatory muffin basket from O.J. Simpson.
Little told various people at his court-ordered community service speeches that he sincerely regretted his actions and would do anything he could to avoid repeating his mistakes.
Ironically, when he was arrested for his second DWI seven years later he made the cops a very similar promise.