$40 Wolverine Claws (now with skull knuckles!)
Think of all the totally awesome things you could do with Wolverine claws! You could slice bread way faster. You could fight evil more efficiently. It would perhaps hinder your typing, but office politics would cease to be a problem because you’d be The Guy with Finger Knives. Nobody *&%$s around with that guy.
Hypothetical conversation between me and our Wheels channel blogger:
BI: Jeez. I need this letter opened.
RD: Oh. I can help you with that…*SLASH
BI: I am bleeding. Quite a lot.
RD: You’re focusing on the wrong details. In your severed fingers lay an open letter. I'm going to lunch.
Sooo! Awesooome! Get them (and a billion other rad, real weapons) at True Swords.