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Football: A Sport For Hamsters

by Robbie E   September 05, 2013 at 12:00AM  |  Views: 7,538


What's up, bro? I'm back this week with another Bro Man blog and it's football week, bro. The NFL is back!! And I couldn't care less if I had to, bro. I mean football is boring. I don't get why everyone gets so jacked for it. The way I see it, there are only 5 cool things about football, bro.

 

5 - Wings - For some reason when people watch football they like eating wings. Wings are awesome. Therefore it is something fun to do during the lame game. Like you can eat a bunch of wings and then throw the bones at the lame guys you have to watch the game with. Or like, at Greg Gumbel when he's on TV, dude.

 

4 - Jerseys - Although the game is dumb, the jerseys are cool. And the new season equals new jerseys and colors. They always fit me perfect, bro. And I always look jacked in a jersey. Plus you ever see a girl wearing nothing but a football jersey? It's the best, bro.

 

3 - Michael Strahan - Former great New York Giants player and my boy. I love hearing him commentate now, even though I don't pay attention to the game. His morning show is awesome also. I just am always too busy to be a guest but he always asks, bro. I don't blame the guy for blowing up my phone like that, cause it would boost ratings like crazy if I showed up. Last time when I couldn't make it they had to settle for some hamster named Ryan Gosling. What a downgrade.

 

2 - Fantasy Football - I mean, fantasy football is like Pokemon cards, bro. It's so dorky and I can't believe geeks worry about pretend playing. I guess it's 'cause they aren't high-level athletes like me and my Bro Man Jessie. Anyway, I just love watching these hamsters look dumb in public and then I can just make fun of them.

 

1 - Drunk Chicks -  Funday Sunday is wonderful, but football fan chicks will start early on the weekends, bro. They're still partying from the college games on Saturday, and, bro. Sometimes you meet a girl and you just know: She. Could. Go. All. The. Way.

And what do you do when you find a girl like that, bro? You go for two.

 

Until next week... Ohhhh! This was my bro man blog, bro.


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