The Top 10 Badass Movie Geezers
We can all admit that sometimes it's fun to laugh at the elderly. They're missing teeth and hair, they sometimes soil themselves, and they're often forgetful to a hilarious degree. But sometimes it's just not a smart move to mock the old guy next door, because he just might pull a shotgun on your whippersnapper ass and blast you off of his damn lawn. Here are some of the most badass old coots in movie history.
Source: Columbia Pictures
By Jeff Kelly
10. Pat Morita/Mr. Miyagi (The Karate Kid)
Sure, he's a pint-sized handyman who spends the bulk of his spare time gardening and carrying out a one-man war on flies, but when push comes to shove the paunchy little man from Okinawa has been known to beat the everloving hell out of punks in skin tight skeleton costumes. He's so confident in his ass-kicking ability that he'd just as quickly honk your nose as actually end your life, leaving you fully aware as you piss your pants in terror that he could rip out your trachea at any point. Plus, hey, he's great at fixing bikes and tolerating oily teenagers who develop unhealthy man crushes on him.
9. Sir Sean Connery/John Mason (The Rock)
Source: Hollywood Pictures
Let's face it, if you find yourself face to face with John Mason you're already in a pretty big hole, and if you flinch he'll probably beat you to death with your own shoe (while you're still wearing it). Not only was he a British secret agent and the only man ever to break out of Alcatraz, but he can also apparently almost singlehandedly take out a highly trained team of U.S. special forces soldiers all while toting around a bumbling scientist who claims to have f***ed the prom queen. He's also really good at destroying cities with oversized SUVs, shattering windows with a quarter, and getting the drop on douchebags with a clothesline. Bonus points for Connery also playing a walking pile of asskick in The Untouchables.
8. Sir Ben Kingsley/Don Logan (Sexy Beast)
Source: Fox Searchlight Pictures
Now we know what you're thinking: is Ben Kingsley really a knight? Well, he doesn't wear a suit of armor and wield a sword (at least, not in public), but yes, the man who is most famous for playing Gandhi is a bona fide knight, and when he played Don Logan he became an equally bona fide badass. If you haven't seen Sexy Beast, you're missing out on one of the most badass characters of the last decade, geezer or not. Logan is a menacing mobster who wants to pull off one last big job (don't they all?) and if his old crew says no, well, let's just say that things will not end well for them.
7. Lee Marvin/Major Reisman (The Dirty Dozen)
In a film full bad badasses including Charles Bronson and Jim Brown, perhaps none was badder than gruff old Major Reisman, the man given the charge of assembling a group of Army prisoners to go deep behind enemy lines in World War II on what amounts to a suicide mission. The mission? Oh, just to kill as many Nazi officers as possible. And it takes a man with brass balls to lead a mission in which part of the plan hinges on Jim Brown going "undercover" in a Nazi uniform. Now granted, Lee Marvin was in his 40s when he made this movie and not technically a geezer, but just look at the dude. We're betting he looked the part of a gruff 60-year-old by the time he was in junior high.
6. Sir Anthony Hopkins/Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs)
Source: Orion Pictures
If you need us to tell you why it's probably a bad idea to mess with Hannibal Lecter, then we encourage you to visit the good doctor, and be sure to have a nice bottle of Chianti in hand. Here's a guy who can mindf*** you into doing pretty much whatever he wants, can and will carve off your face in order to escape wearing it as a disguise, and can somehow get through a scene where he's eating Ray Liotta's brain right out of his head without breaking character or snickering once. You've got to hand it to the guy, for a short chubby Brit he certainly isn't a guy we'd want to have over for a dinner party.