Basketballer's Huge Steal

November 11, 2008

A Binghamton University basketball player has been suspended after being arrested for stealing 36 Magnum Condoms. Malik Alvin, a 20 year-old junior and newcomer to the BU team stuffed the condoms, worth $28 into his pants and proceeded to walk out of a local Walmart.

His huge heist came unstuck as he left the store. On exiting he collided with a 66 year-old lady, knocking her to the floor and leaving her with a concussion. He was then caught by security who found his pants packed with over sized prophylactics.

Alvin has been charged with shoplifting and assault. He has pleaded innocent and probably is. What man in their right mind would steal magnum condoms when you can use the exchange as a way to show off your manliness. Only dudes who buy tiny condoms steal, as they truly have something to be ashamed off.

Here’s hoping he’s not found guilty, he may need though condoms in jail.