Thief Receives Backdoor Delivery of Justice

September 30, 2008

A thief leaped from a tree branch outside the East London Museum in an attempt to break in.  He lost his footing and fell from the tree onto a metal fence which speared him in the rectum.  If you really want to do this to yourself, hit the jump for another god-awful pic.

The man was found by a tow truck driver who’s attention was caught by the screams apropos to somebody whose rectum had been rent in a humiliatingly poetic way.  He called the authorities, and firemen came to cut the pole off which traveled with him to the hospital where it was determined "the spike damaged his rectum and intestines."  No sh*t.  And, now that I think about it, he probably won't for a while.

The poor guy. He’s going to be the butt of everybody’s jokes.  Surely he couldn’t have expected to penetrate such a well-guarded institution.  An asstute man would’ve used guile to slide in smoothly.  This guy must be quite cheeky.