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The Seven Biggest Fake Badasses in Music

by dsussman   November 06, 2009 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 2,954

3. Dr. Dre


Source: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images

Dr. Dre is hands down one of the greatest hip-hop/rap producers this world has ever seen and his talents are undeniable. Although what is deniable is his fabricated image as a “gangsta” that started to take shape during his time with NWA. First off, Dre’s candy-coated image during his early electro-pop days with the World Class Wreckin' Cru puts his Compton badass cred in serious question. Eazy-E singled out this era during his legendary beef with Dre on the track "Real Muthaphuckkin G's." Have you seen those pictures? The dude is wearing lipstick. Nuff said.

As for his years with Deathrow, Dre was pretty much the golden goose. He had protection from Suge Knight and that pretty much meant that he could get away with murder. That’s probably why he started to think he was a real-life version of the character he had created in his music. Based on numerous interviews and a slew of very embarrassing pictures, we all now know that this was very far from the truth. Oh yeah, dude was on the diving team in high school. Dre in a Speedo?! I can take no more.

2. Ted Nugent


Source: Mick Hutson/Gett Images

The Nuge is known for killing wild animals with his bare hands, being an NRA legend, and getting numerous cases of "Cat Scratch Fever." He is also known for being a big supporter of the military. When the Iraq war first started I vividly remember seeing Ted on FOX News giving the world his views on the war and on the military as a whole. Some find these views outrageous because Ted has constantly portrayed himself as a deadly killer of all living things, but has never even served in the military. Although Nugent has insisted that if he had served he would have been a serious killing machine:

 "… if I would have gone over there, I'd have been killed, or I'd have killed, or I'd kill all the hippies in the foxholes … I would have killed everybody," he told the Detroit Free Press in an interview published July 15, 1990."

That’s all well and good, but in recent years there have been numerous accounts of how Ted went to disgusting lengths to actually avoid the draft and not take part in the war:

(Nugent claims) that 30 days before his draft board physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment.

Some badass. This guy can hunt and kill animals till the day he dies, but that doesn’t mean he’s the supreme macho American that his music and outdoor woodsmen lifestyle have made him out to be. What a boner.

1. Glenn Danzig


Source: Christina Radish/Getty Images

Glenn has spent most of his career creating the ultimate badass persona. From fronting one the greatest punk bands of all time (Misfits) to being one of the most evil-looking mofos on the planet (Samhain), it seemed pretty apparent that you never wanted to f*** with Mr. Danzig. Not only was Danzig very jacked in the muscle department, he was also extremely vocal about his fight training. Back in the early ‘90s, under martial artist Jerry Poteet, Danzig earned a teaching degree in Bruce Lee’s martial art and life philosophy Jeet Kune Do. These stats made Danzig seem super human and a real-life unstoppable force.

Unfortunately for Fiend Club members all over the world, this myth came crashing down just a few years back with a little help from a very notorious viral video:

In the video, a 5' 3" Danzig gets into an argument with a very large member of the opening band, pushes him in an act of frustration, only to get knocked the funk out with a single punch. Now I know he wasn’t as young and fit as he use to be, but I think it was a very good thing for Danzig to finally get his ass put in check and let the world know once and for all that he was nowhere near as invincible as his die-hard fans have built him up to be.


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