Jose Canseco Not Stronger Than 60-Year-Old Man, Possibly Smarter Than a Fifth Grader

July 12, 2010

Did you spend your weekend boxing a elderly retiree in front of several hundred confused Arkansas residents looking for a nearby Applebee’s? Well, Jose Canseco did, and it could have gone a little better for the former home run king.

Despite outweighing his opponent by 50 pounds, Canseco lost the amateur boxing bout in a split decision, despite landing several devastating blows to the head of a man staring down the barrel of osteoporosis and Social Security benefits.

Much like he did while ratting out former friends, Canseco handled the loss with the class and dignity you’d expect from a guy who now fights senior citizens at minor league baseball stadiums.

"You gotta give the man a lot of credit," Canseco said. "He's got some big balls, I've got a lot of respect for him."

It’s nice to see that testicular size is so high on the “list of things that Jose Canseco respects.” Maybe that’s why he didn’t remain friends with any of his steroid-infused teammates.